GOD loves me...`*
*Tukata - the doll*~

*-A graduate
*-Getting older, becoming younger
*-231084
*-Still seeking GOD
*-A tomboy in skirts



___conttact miee*~

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*-faithful_jesus_84@hotmail.com

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*-crazygal@cheerful.com


~*Likes*~

*-Spicy and sour food *-Music
*-Catcus & tulips *-Boardgames
*-Ice skating *-Volleyball
*-Dancing *-Stoning
*-Looking @ sky *-Seaside
*-Dolphin *-Seashells & Starfishs

~*Loves*~

*-someone.. so near yet so far
*-boardgames
*-Above all ,GOD




~*Life goals*~

*-missions in thailand
*-to get marry
*-stay in thailand
*-to have kids
*-to see GOD



~wisshex*~

*-serve god
*-to be able to glorified God in my jobs
*-that I have less troubles in BGR
*-someone to remember his promise
*-to serve in thailand full time


__darlinnkx*~

Liying* CG29*
Roger* Carine*
Grace* Regina*
Xiaodong* Mark*
My photos* Fang Yu*
cyril* Yvonne*
Kitty* Justin*
Matthea* Carine*
Matthias* Da Jie*
Dori* Multi purpose*
Joanne* ZD*
Siyin* Victor*
Darlene* Isaac*


December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 April 2006 May 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 June 2008 July 2008

CoPyRiGhTtEdd --
*-mRs_NuRhAiKeL*



Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Blog reading ...

Wonder reading of other pple blog is a gd thing or bad thing...
Reading my dear past blog make feel a tint of jealously towards tis ger called kristy ... he is willing to travel all the way to her hse to c her .... n can c he actuallie like her b4 he actuallie miss her .... n when we went out he wan to check out a dvd player for her ... he let her take his laptop hm jus to watch movie ... the way he tok abt her ... and i saw her pic as the wallpaper for his hp ... y ?? i dunnoe whether i tink too much or wat ... he keep saying they r fren .... he actuallie apologised to me tt he make me imagine.... I wonder if nw kristy sae she like him what will he do ? Y he dun dare to let his church pple noe he is attached ? Cause he afraid tt kristy noe ? I dun wan to b those unreasonable gf n confront or challenge him ... but i hope i ve ans .... Just put eveything in front of God n let him handle it bah .... Just wanna to learn to trust his love for me is true .... nt a spare tyre for kristy .... I dun wan .... I wonder does he miss me ? or even remember me ? As a christian issit wrong to miss bf ? I hope I can just focus on God and let everything go ... I dun wan him to worrie abt me or stress abt me ... Just wan this r/s to ve God as centre and is for God ...

___herre with miee*~
10:41 AM
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Dance on 24 dec

I am dancing on 24th dec ... So happy consulted my doc ... he sae can haha ... hope pple ll understand n let me .... I reali miss dancing n wan to serve God ... I hope my work doesnt clash wit rehearsals .... Hope my dear can b back to watch .... his presence will b my greatest christmas gift le ...

___herre with miee*~
10:33 AM
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Gone ...

My dear .... flew off for thailand on mon le .... met him @ the airport ... Actuallie that day had a tok wit pastor loo ling ...wanted to give up this r/s le ... cos frm the msn conversation ... I ve felt that dear want to give up tis r/s ... so i wan to let go ... I din wan to suggest anything ... I jus kept quiet .... when i saw him ... especially i saw him wit a ger .... but i dun wan to b jealous ... I dun wan him to sae i tink too much ... jus kept quiet n he held my hand thruout the time we wit tt ger... we actuallie din tok other than she intro herself to me n the time when she need coins to take bus back to JB... Dear went to accompany to wait for bus... Actuallie alot of doubts flew thru my mind like their r/s , my status , y he suggest things like tt , wat my pastor sae etc... But I just wait patiently for him... we went to budget terminal ... so funnie ... dun look like spore airport lor .... we sat down n tok ... he held me veri tightly ... is he afraid he lose me or i lose him ? Actuallie we ve a relief tt we r going on a long distance r/s ... he dunnoe is gd or bad for me ... since we make the decision ... we will keep it ... it is a commitment n responsibility ... I realise b4 he left tt is the 1st time i hugged him so tightly ... then realise that his fren who fetch him r all gers ... my 2 bro tom n jo went wit yokie to fetch him ... he is so stressed that tt he cant register for his company ... hw i wish i can help him ... i dun wan to b his burden ... To b his sweet , nice and understanding n supportive gf seem harder than i tot it wld b ... esp nt to b jealous abt him ve so many gers in his frenster etc ...
Toking to cw on msn ... then realise if i m single he ll date me .... haha ... mayb if i m sing le i ll consider bah but my dear is still the best haha... sometime i felt tt dear is scared tt i ll accept guys tt go after me ... n @ the same time i m afraid tt he cant resist temptation bah ... that y sometime we r so stressed ... i still want to b me ... a friendly ger .... but i scared i mislead guys .... 1 of the guy tot i n dear break he so happy cos gt chance to go after me bah he said .... but unlikely cos he MIA le haha .... The photo we took @ airport is the onli thing i can look @ when i miss him ... esp i saw a couple tt look like us ... the ger is so much shorter than her bf ... like us n the way they behave reali like us .... so sweet ... Sometimes i envy pple can c their bf/gf so often... but they r nt contented y ?? I wonder how is dear is ... is he fine ... is he happy or stressed or wat he doing etc...

___herre with miee*~
10:02 AM
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Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Back Problem...

Yesterdae is a bad day ... I rolled down my office stairs .. so stupid... Keong is so sick but no key to open office door then I had to open ... Then in order nt to step on keong , i step on another step but miss ... then i fell ... Thank God that Jon break my fall .. if not I cant imagine wat happen ... I may be in hospital ... I veri smart ... still went for event ... and all tt ... until 10 plus ... I went to c a doc... Then the doc sae my back severely sprained and ligament super loose ... scared ligament mean tear ... if my legs start to numb , then mus c him ... scared my back worsen ... then cant walk... I am so scared ... but dear not ard ... I msg him ... but he din reply and today he whole dae nt online and ytd cant chat with him ... is he avoiding me ? He sae b4 if anyuthing happen to me ... he ll cum back ... I wonder if jon din break my fall n end up in hospital .. will he cum back ??? I dunnoe ... I dont want to be his burden but I hope he ll b back ... I hope he nt angry wit me ... the sdu participants want to date me ... then i sae no then they sae i reject them ... then i sae i m attached ... last week I m actuallie attached but nt this week ... cos we decided that we dun b together for the time being ... cos is hard to maintain LDR ... But he bcame my shield .... i want to wait for him .... Am I stupid ? Am i a burden to him ?

___herre with miee*~
10:39 PM
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Monday, November 13, 2006
Missing Someone ...

Missing my dear le .... I wonder how is he and what he is doing ... He is in KL now ... He will be going Thailand soon... Why are there doubts and fears and insecurities ? Seeing him dont make feel my heart pump faster or what .. Just enjoy the time together even is very short each time because of work...
On sat ... My er jie bf were eating and chatting with us the grp of girls then he sae he feels so sian cause no one accompany him then i sae gt some many ger/pple accompany him le then fang yu says he onli wan 1 person which is my er jie then after that i ask him whether he sees her everyday he sae ya then i sae nt enoough issit ? Then he sae this type of things where gt enough de then fang yu sae he shld b contented can see each other eveyday cos not all couple can do tt like me when i n my dear in 2 different countries ... then like fang yu and her one oso dun c everyday or even my cgl n his gf live so near oso din everydae c ...
Actuallie because the time i n dear ve together is veri short .. think we ll treasure it more each time when we r given this chance... we chat abt being together too fast dont know each well but already ve to endure the separation ... he is worried he will tied me down ... he worried that i lose my youth waiting for him ... He even ask wat happen if someone i used to like go after me ... I said go ahead and i dont ve to accept .... But I felt the insecurities btw us ... esp me abt him n his gd fren .. he noe mentioning tt ger name make me uncomfortable ... cos i felt like spare tyre but he alwaz scold me ... cos he sae i m nt ... Other than letting God take charge of the r/s ... I have no idea how can the r/s b maintained or move on ... but i n dear story felt so much like im elliot n elisabeth elliot as they ve different calling ... they wait patiently for each other to do God's will in mission and even in the same country we ve calling in different areas... I am more inclined to creative evangelism n for him is church planting ...He is going to thailand to set up a company tt sell clothes, hats etc ( christian stuffs )
I prayed whatever decision he makes is from God and of God's will as only decision that is allowed by God is gd .... as God became the centre of the decision making process ... also pray that he ll trust God heart where he go ...
I hope he noe i ll support him in watever decision he makes that is from God ... Take care dear

___herre with miee*~
9:17 AM
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Mixed Feelings...

Have a dear but he nt ard ... Dun wan him to go but he need to go and I have to let him go ... Alot of uncertainity and doubts ... alot of unknown factors... The more my mum ask about him ... The more I feel that I need to know him more ... And as the same time I need to trust him ... I dont know what is ahead for us ... Veri stress...
Actuallie I cried when he left ... wonder how he feels about leaving me ... i scared he angry cause i called him in KL for help so sad .... WOnder what he is thinking ...

___herre with miee*~
7:06 AM
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