Me...

Stress

2008-07-07T08:25:00.000-07:00

My throat hurts extremely badly... i seem to msake everione angry wit me with my health .... i make my mum angry ... make my bf worried even @japan ... he ve to call me ... waste his money.... cant go work ... i m afraid to change job wit my colleagues... scared they nt happy... scared my rice bowl.... I m veri scared... I veri xin ku.... I wan to c my dear !!

Missing ...

2008-07-07T00:13:00.000-07:00

Ytd dear flew off to Japan already... missing him already... Todae suppose to be my 1st day of work but .... ytd due vomiting and coughing of large amount of blood... scared my dear n myself... my dear pay for my doc fee even when he cant be wit me... the doc sae mayb internal bleeding need to go emergency unit in hospital ... I am so scared tt i cant c my dear anymore.... I cried alot... called my dear ... sms him ... he is veri nice never scold me ... despite he is veri bz as he is checking in ... he even told his mum n aunts... and they are very nice to encourage me and ensure me tt i ll b fine ...

He said... '' dun worri dear.. nth bad ll happen to u ... u ll get well de... mus c u again ok? '' '' silly ger, dun wori abt me. me as strong as a bull.'' '' can de. u promise me nth happen to u k? promise?'' ''God ll bless my gd gal. '' '' The plane taking off soon. See you dear :) ''

C his msgs make me wan to cry and i miss him even more... I cried myself to slp ytd.... c i saw lot of his msges n pics... hope he can take care of him ... japan very cold ... n he ve cough and his neck sprain .. no one massage for him so sad ... waiting for him to b back...

Being together

2008-06-17T12:35:00.000-07:00

Until now... i and him already 10mths .... Todae is our 10th mth anniversary ... is also the dae he said let be frens again .... I dunnoe hw to react... I told myself I must think of him 1st .... I cant be selfish .... but I still yearn the care, concern and joy when we r together... Issit I am a girl that I hope he will spend some time toking to me when he with me and not tok abt games... and not more concern abt games than me or other kins... isit playing games more impt than sending me hm ... he told other fren he need to b responsible cannot leave work halfway send me off and ask her replace his shift ... but y he can ask me to replace his shift to play games wit his frens? He think that he spends alot of time with me... ya in cafe when he work .... at my hse when he wan to slp , in his hse when he wan to play games.... he sees me talk abt his paper, his games, his tv show .... is I dont know hw to handle him or issit he reali jus see me as a fren... Did we mix friendship wit love ? I realise I ve never cry so much b4.... Despite all the negative things my mum sae, feelings I feel ... even disobeying God , I still with him ... Why? Why I cant let go?
When I see ger ger like tt, i dunnoe hw to help her .... i c her i c myself ... I dunnoe hw long can we go on .... Y I cant leave ? Y i cant b firm n jus move on ? Why? Why m i so thick skin ? I dont know... I am so tired.............

Sickly

2007-10-18T18:32:00.000-07:00

Now I have gastroenteritis.... so sick... miss him even more ...dont know how I got gastroenteritis also... Wonder what is he doing now ... My mum always tease me say that what if my bf is not straight and just using me as a shield? I will always believe my bf is 100% straight n love me .... I trust him .... next week is my birthday... but he is not around ... Actually i don't mind not celebrating... but mayb i just want to spend with him on the my bdae.... Hope he can do well for the competition. 'Jiayou' Dear !!

Touching moments

2007-10-18T02:53:00.000-07:00

Ytd is the last dae before my dear fly to Germany.. I am very touched by the fact he remembered my birthday ... even though he wont be in Singapore to celebrate wit me ... he bought me a mango ice cream cake from swensens to surprise me ... i m veri touched even though i din tell him that ... i reallie dont want to lose him ... even though i find him abit when we r alone n when we r with others.... i miss u dear... my birthday wish - is to grow closer to God, he is able to noe God and he will b safe n sound in Germany and come back safely and his assignment to be handed up on time...

Struggles

2007-10-18T02:45:00.000-07:00

Being with an non Christian is so hard... it is the biggest struggle.... How to form a Christ centered family.... very scared we will break ... but i really love him ....

Love

2007-08-30T03:27:00.000-07:00

Everyone wants to be loved..., loved to be loved..... But do they get it ? When you love some one too deeply.... pple just think u r thick skin.... why? Loving some one is so hard... Rejecting someone is also hard... I tot being in a r/s is veri happy but i m nt ... why? I love him so wat... we r together so wat ? he is a non christian ..... hai ... wat can i do? I m stress... Why mus pple force us declare ? then y mus they cum in btw us? they oso like him ? The mastermind of all gossips like my bf ? Why do they ve to sae or do so much ? They wan to break us up ? Why? Wat can I do? I dont want all tt anymore? Why cant they leave alone ? I dont want to fight with him over all tt. Wat can i do? Give him up? I dont noe

What Girls do when She is in love

2007-08-30T03:18:00.000-07:00

Guys,
Realize that the girl holding onto u is
perfect in her own special way.

The way she laughs.
The way she sleeps.
The way she loves you.
The way she tries to please you.
Always remember that.

She can always get up and walk away,
getting someone else who can love her
more.
For all you know, there is someone out
there wooing her already, but she is
rejecting, a maybe perfect love for
her.

There might also be someone out there.
who is willing to love her more than
you
are loving her now.
Fulfill her every need and love her as
much as she loves you.
Understand that.

Imagine this, guys.
When you are holding her today, and you
cheat on her by hugging and kissing
another gal.
And then you run back to her.
And u do the same.
But you see love in her eyes.
What do you think?
Do you feel the hurt?
Can you feel the guilt?

She loves you not because you are good
looking, have money, buy her things,
make her parents happy, or that you
have
a car.

She loves you for who you are.
Your every touch, every word you say,
everything you do.
Guys, cherish and appreciate your girl.
Don't break her fragile heart.
She is the only one who can love you
that way.

You won't wanna regret letting go of
that special girl you have.
For everything she has done for you,
the
least you can do is to give her
unconditional love as she has given to
you.

Hurt

2007-07-26T10:54:00.000-07:00

If you never like me.... is ok... But dont fool ard wit my feelings... Dont make me like u and left me there n expect me to treat nothing happens... i m a ger i ve diginity de ... dun keep hurting me... I ve been vomiting blood nwadaes... i dunnoe wat wrong.. i veri scared i mite nt b able to c u anymore... i ve fallen for u ... even a guy who likes me knew tt ... thanks for feeling happy if i gt a bf ... u noe u make me tears ... make my heart break... shatter all my hopes ... dun make me like u more than a fren than tell me u actuallie treat as a fren... i m nt a thick skin ger... i dun wan to keep guessing anymore... is enough... if u wan to use me as a shield ... u ve done it u ve succeed ... u wan someone to care n take care of u ... u gt it... u wan fun.. u gt it .... u make me fall for u so deeply but u oso hurt me tt deeply until i lose a fren lose a guy tt likes me .... hw many times.. i hope tt u reali meant those 3 words u sae ... but i noe if i believe u do i ll b disappointed... hw many times i hope those hugs n kisses mean sth... but i tell myself u jus treat me as fren... hw many times i try to brush away all ur cares n concerns as jus frens... hw many times i tell myself those things u sae r for fun ... but @ the same no of times i still hope i mean sth to u .. but each time i disappointed each time i m hurt each time i avoid all these in front of u cos i dun wan to lose u .. hw many times i hope i reali can tt someone u love or even like... but i m wrong.. i m truly wrong.... veri wrong.... hw many times i hope those gifts n photos mean sth to u .. but i m wrong... 1 by 1 all the guys who like me left me ... cos they felt my heart is occupied... i shldnt even fall for u... i feel so thick skin nw.... hw cum a supposingly gd fren make me hurt so much...

Confuse State

2007-07-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

I realise to fall in love is so hard ... It seems so easy for many pple jus like each other and go together ... Is it they never think through it or realli their love is jus so simple ? Sharing doesnt mean mus have solution de lor ... Haha but tt seems to b general assumption... Asking is that the onli solution to a prob that seems to exist in a blissful environment ?? Will asking spoilt that blissfulness?? If asking generates the same ans, I think i rather nt think and ve any ans... Letting go became harder without asking or with asking ? Sometimes it is a so simple matter or r/s but bcame veri complicated jus bcos of someone indecisiveness or fear..... Asking may result in loss of watever that is available now... Is tt y pple holding on to sth tt may a lie rite frm the start? Why do pple keep holding sth when everione tells them tt it is bad , not good ??? Crying seems to b good hobby sometimes... Why pple wan to mislead someone when pple dun even like someone ? For fun? Spare tyre? Companion? Mayb confusion is contagious ... The 3 words wat they mean to a supposedly close fren ? What does intimacy means to close fren ? Wat r/s is tt ? Take advantage ? Exploit ? Forget someone is an impt lesson to learn .... Will actions be misread? Why do them is they will be misread by someone? Bcos they think that person wun misread?
Why pple like to probe into pple private life? For fun ? Why pple need to b so inquistive? Why pple need to so kpo? Why pple can accuse someone else when they r @ fault? Is bcos they think they ve no fault? Or they think being kpo is correct the person whose life they kpo abt is wrong ? Concern? All tis so call concern may bring more misery to tt person... though to others all tt questioning means nothing ...

记得爱　所有幸福的片段

所以才一直忘记要离开

伸出手　继续勇敢付出我的爱

原地不动的等待

记得爱是我给过的答案

就不再　考虑应该不应该

一滴泪落进无边无际的大海

至少我们都活得没有遗憾

2007-06-04T21:46:00.000-07:00

Personality Type Report for Evonne

Your Personality Preferences

EXTROVERT

You are social and outgoing. You are most comfortable when with other people
and experiencing the world first hand. Interaction with others and first hand experiences
energize you. It is not unlike you to start conversations with strangers. You have a
preference for the outer world: people, activities, and things. Other people provide you with
a mirror, sounding board to help you develop ideas and plans. Being alone may sap your energies.
Your concept of the world is derived from experiencing it firsthand and then drawing conclusions.

INTUITIVE

While you do process information through your senses you add a twist to your processing by
relying on intuition and serendipity. You look for undercurrents of meaning and abstractions
in what you experience physically. You do not just see things just as they are, but as what they
could be. While you may rely on common sense at times, you trust inspiration far more.

PERCEIVING

You like to have as much information as possible before making a decision. Putting off a final
decision until the last moment does not make you uncomfortable. Indeed once a decision is made,
a course plotted, you may feel a bit uneasy, because you feel bound to a certain course of action.
You would much prefer to wait and see what happens. You enjoy the opportunity to improvise. Commitments are not etched in stone to you, and are changeable.

FEELING

You make decisions subjectively based upon your values and what is important to you.
How people will be affected by your decisions is important to you. You are likely to make
decisions based upon what you feel is acceptable and agreeable rather than what is logical.
Your truths are founded in your values and those of the society you live in. It is important to
remember that we are discussing how you evaluate data and make decisions, and that you rely
on your feelings to do so in no way implies you are overly emotional.

Your Personality Type

Extrovert/Intuitive/Feeling/Perceiving

You are a very creative optimist who never has a shortage of new ideas.
You accept others as they are, like to be helpful, and are compassionate.
Your freedom and independence are very important to you. Your well-developed insight
into others and communication skills allow you to inspire those around you. You have a good
sense of humor and love to have fun.

In relationships you may turn intimacy into an all-encompassing pursuit. You are very aware
of what those around you are thinking and doing. Your people skills allow you to make friends
instantly and make almost anyone comfortable. You tend to idealize your relationships. You like your relationships to be very intense--you want to feel everything. The warmth and affection you give others is very deep and genuine.

Famous People of Your Type:

Franz Joseph Haydn, Samuel Clemens, Will Rogers, Buster Keaton, Theodor "Dr." Seuss Geisel,
Mickey Rooney, Carol Burnett, Paul Harvey, Elizabeth Montgomery, Bill Cosby, Dom Delouise,
Dave Thomas, Martin Short, Meg Ryan, Robin Williams, Sandra Bullock, Robert Downey.

Occupations Suited to Your Type Include:

Actor, artist, clergy, consultant, entertainer, entrepreneur, personal service provider, journalist, marketer, media specialist, mediator, recruiter, sales person, business owner, teacher, and writer.

Truth

2007-06-03T01:57:00.000-07:00

Knowing the truth seems so hard... Why? Pple scared conseqences or they dont care ... People protects other by hiding the truth by siding them even they r wrong ... why ? why do pple like to distort the truth or even create sth that is nt true @ all ...... Is because they concerned, kpo or just out to destroy pple lives ?? hw can pple do sth wrong n treat as nothing happen @ all ? hw can pple dont feel anything when they r in the wrong or even think they r rite ? Hw can pple b so scary ... pple sae i too kind ... i oso wan to b bad ... but i feel i dont wan to do sth tt i dont wan pple do to me ... but most pple wan to do sth to others but they dun wan others to do them... y ? nothing is fair... any r/s is subject to hurt n pain except the r/s wit God ... I just wan the truth .,.. y there are so many lies ....

Working overseas...

2007-06-01T01:03:00.001-07:00

Looking forward to hear margaret who is the director of song bee golf resort in vietnam.... If she hires i ll b very happy... mayb i felt i shld leave this place for awhile... when all the gossips or confusions r gone.... better for me n the rest .... I dunnoe pple wan me to stay so tt they ve companion or they truly wan me to stay... wonder if i leave will it b a gd for us ? Where things may bcome clearer.... God, I ve disobey u . I prayed that you can help me out of this confusion. I need you and your guidance , Lord. I prayed that you grant me the chance to leave if that is the best way to obey u. Amen. Sometimes i wonder if i leave hw will some pple react.... My parents? My church pple? Settlers Pple? Close fren? Best frens ? Mayb they will be even happier if i leave ... I want to leave..... I think most pple will tink my true reason of leaving is nt a valid reason to.... but i already dont know hw to react n think of certain things.... Absence make the hearts grow fonder... mayb after i leave i ll like my fren n family n even God more . I wan to leave.... !!!!!

Gossips

2007-06-01T01:00:00.000-07:00

Gossips can kill !!! haha I wonder y pple like to gossip so much... in nicer words they r concerned n harsher words they r kpo ... sometimes they dun realise their gossips can cause hurt nt jus to one person but affect pple relationships ... just bcos someone is a nicer person... pple step over the line... making other pple r/s a mess ...

Blog reading ...

2006-11-22T10:41:00.000-08:00

Wonder reading of other pple blog is a gd thing or bad thing...
Reading my dear past blog make feel a tint of jealously towards tis ger called kristy ... he is willing to travel all the way to her hse to c her .... n can c he actuallie like her b4 he actuallie miss her .... n when we went out he wan to check out a dvd player for her ... he let her take his laptop hm jus to watch movie ... the way he tok abt her ... and i saw her pic as the wallpaper for his hp ... y ?? i dunnoe whether i tink too much or wat ... he keep saying they r fren .... he actuallie apologised to me tt he make me imagine.... I wonder if nw kristy sae she like him what will he do ? Y he dun dare to let his church pple noe he is attached ? Cause he afraid tt kristy noe ? I dun wan to b those unreasonable gf n confront or challenge him ... but i hope i ve ans .... Just put eveything in front of God n let him handle it bah .... Just wanna to learn to trust his love for me is true .... nt a spare tyre for kristy .... I dun wan .... I wonder does he miss me ? or even remember me ? As a christian issit wrong to miss bf ? I hope I can just focus on God and let everything go ... I dun wan him to worrie abt me or stress abt me ... Just wan this r/s to ve God as centre and is for God ...

Dance on 24 dec

2006-11-22T10:33:00.000-08:00

I am dancing on 24th dec ... So happy consulted my doc ... he sae can haha ... hope pple ll understand n let me .... I reali miss dancing n wan to serve God ... I hope my work doesnt clash wit rehearsals .... Hope my dear can b back to watch .... his presence will b my greatest christmas gift le ...

Gone ...

2006-11-22T10:02:00.000-08:00

My dear .... flew off for thailand on mon le .... met him @ the airport ... Actuallie that day had a tok wit pastor loo ling ...wanted to give up this r/s le ... cos frm the msn conversation ... I ve felt that dear want to give up tis r/s ... so i wan to let go ... I din wan to suggest anything ... I jus kept quiet .... when i saw him ... especially i saw him wit a ger .... but i dun wan to b jealous ... I dun wan him to sae i tink too much ... jus kept quiet n he held my hand thruout the time we wit tt ger... we actuallie din tok other than she intro herself to me n the time when she need coins to take bus back to JB... Dear went to accompany to wait for bus... Actuallie alot of doubts flew thru my mind like their r/s , my status , y he suggest things like tt , wat my pastor sae etc... But I just wait patiently for him... we went to budget terminal ... so funnie ... dun look like spore airport lor .... we sat down n tok ... he held me veri tightly ... is he afraid he lose me or i lose him ? Actuallie we ve a relief tt we r going on a long distance r/s ... he dunnoe is gd or bad for me ... since we make the decision ... we will keep it ... it is a commitment n responsibility ... I realise b4 he left tt is the 1st time i hugged him so tightly ... then realise that his fren who fetch him r all gers ... my 2 bro tom n jo went wit yokie to fetch him ... he is so stressed that tt he cant register for his company ... hw i wish i can help him ... i dun wan to b his burden ... To b his sweet , nice and understanding n supportive gf seem harder than i tot it wld b ... esp nt to b jealous abt him ve so many gers in his frenster etc ...
Toking to cw on msn ... then realise if i m single he ll date me .... haha ... mayb if i m sing le i ll consider bah but my dear is still the best haha... sometime i felt tt dear is scared tt i ll accept guys tt go after me ... n @ the same time i m afraid tt he cant resist temptation bah ... that y sometime we r so stressed ... i still want to b me ... a friendly ger .... but i scared i mislead guys .... 1 of the guy tot i n dear break he so happy cos gt chance to go after me bah he said .... but unlikely cos he MIA le haha .... The photo we took @ airport is the onli thing i can look @ when i miss him ... esp i saw a couple tt look like us ... the ger is so much shorter than her bf ... like us n the way they behave reali like us .... so sweet ... Sometimes i envy pple can c their bf/gf so often... but they r nt contented y ?? I wonder how is dear is ... is he fine ... is he happy or stressed or wat he doing etc...

Back Problem...

2006-11-15T22:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterdae is a bad day ... I rolled down my office stairs .. so stupid... Keong is so sick but no key to open office door then I had to open ... Then in order nt to step on keong , i step on another step but miss ... then i fell ... Thank God that Jon break my fall .. if not I cant imagine wat happen ... I may be in hospital ... I veri smart ... still went for event ... and all tt ... until 10 plus ... I went to c a doc... Then the doc sae my back severely sprained and ligament super loose ... scared ligament mean tear ... if my legs start to numb , then mus c him ... scared my back worsen ... then cant walk... I am so scared ... but dear not ard ... I msg him ... but he din reply and today he whole dae nt online and ytd cant chat with him ... is he avoiding me ? He sae b4 if anyuthing happen to me ... he ll cum back ... I wonder if jon din break my fall n end up in hospital .. will he cum back ??? I dunnoe ... I dont want to be his burden but I hope he ll b back ... I hope he nt angry wit me ... the sdu participants want to date me ... then i sae no then they sae i reject them ... then i sae i m attached ... last week I m actuallie attached but nt this week ... cos we decided that we dun b together for the time being ... cos is hard to maintain LDR ... But he bcame my shield .... i want to wait for him .... Am I stupid ? Am i a burden to him ?

Missing Someone ...

2006-11-13T09:17:00.000-08:00

Missing my dear le .... I wonder how is he and what he is doing ... He is in KL now ... He will be going Thailand soon... Why are there doubts and fears and insecurities ? Seeing him dont make feel my heart pump faster or what .. Just enjoy the time together even is very short each time because of work...
On sat ... My er jie bf were eating and chatting with us the grp of girls then he sae he feels so sian cause no one accompany him then i sae gt some many ger/pple accompany him le then fang yu says he onli wan 1 person which is my er jie then after that i ask him whether he sees her everyday he sae ya then i sae nt enoough issit ? Then he sae this type of things where gt enough de then fang yu sae he shld b contented can see each other eveyday cos not all couple can do tt like me when i n my dear in 2 different countries ... then like fang yu and her one oso dun c everyday or even my cgl n his gf live so near oso din everydae c ...
Actuallie because the time i n dear ve together is veri short .. think we ll treasure it more each time when we r given this chance... we chat abt being together too fast dont know each well but already ve to endure the separation ... he is worried he will tied me down ... he worried that i lose my youth waiting for him ... He even ask wat happen if someone i used to like go after me ... I said go ahead and i dont ve to accept .... But I felt the insecurities btw us ... esp me abt him n his gd fren .. he noe mentioning tt ger name make me uncomfortable ... cos i felt like spare tyre but he alwaz scold me ... cos he sae i m nt ... Other than letting God take charge of the r/s ... I have no idea how can the r/s b maintained or move on ... but i n dear story felt so much like im elliot n elisabeth elliot as they ve different calling ... they wait patiently for each other to do God's will in mission and even in the same country we ve calling in different areas... I am more inclined to creative evangelism n for him is church planting ...He is going to thailand to set up a company tt sell clothes, hats etc ( christian stuffs )
I prayed whatever decision he makes is from God and of God's will as only decision that is allowed by God is gd .... as God became the centre of the decision making process ... also pray that he ll trust God heart where he go ...
I hope he noe i ll support him in watever decision he makes that is from God ... Take care dear

Mixed Feelings...

2006-11-13T07:06:00.000-08:00

Have a dear but he nt ard ... Dun wan him to go but he need to go and I have to let him go ... Alot of uncertainity and doubts ... alot of unknown factors... The more my mum ask about him ... The more I feel that I need to know him more ... And as the same time I need to trust him ... I dont know what is ahead for us ... Veri stress...
Actuallie I cried when he left ... wonder how he feels about leaving me ... i scared he angry cause i called him in KL for help so sad .... WOnder what he is thinking ...

JErK

2006-10-26T19:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterdae ... we went for event @ east coast park is seaside serenade... a stupid speed dating event ... then not enough girls .... so stupid ... n i ve to sit in ... still nvm .. the worse is 1 of the stupid participant , old perverted man went to put his hand on my shoulder n keep stroking my arm
then i move away he keep moving closer ... then after tt other pple touch me i will scream ... is so digusting .... I felt so disgusted .... then i called cactus ... but he bz ... wanted to jump sea already ... I AM SO UPSET ... I HATE TT STUPID GUY ... Jinsen ask me to ignore that stupid jerk .. angry oso no use ... then glen injured his toe .. i ask him how is he then he pat me on my arm sae alrite .. then i jump n scream .... scared glen .. then tt stupid guy asked my female participant to drive him hm then i so worried until i omost cried n asked her dun drive him... thank God she didnt...
Talk to cactus the whole nite ... i asked him to sleep he ll ask me then wat happen to me ... felt so touched ....

Beauty

2006-10-20T07:20:00.000-07:00

What is beauty??
pleasing and impressive qualities: the combination of qualities that make something pleasing and impressive to listen to or touch, or especially to look at
pleasing personal appearance: personal physical attractiveness, especially with regard to the use of cosmetics and other methods of enhancing it <------Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2003.

Guys find pretty gers gd ... so no matter whether ur soul attractive guys wun give chance ...

Happy

2006-10-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

Last sat I saw him ... I am so happy though din tok to him much except after the choral exchange and abt the present ... Actuallie the happiness come frm the fact tt the present can b given out finally... and he din hate them ....
The gift list
1. a polo t
2. 4 badges
3. a pair of drumsticks
4. a hand sewn bag for the drumsticks
5. a lego birthday card
6. oreo - forget to give ... going to rot @ my hse

Very nice vocal ... the choirs are so powerful... Even his voice is so powerful...

Work.. Work .. Work

2006-10-18T19:31:00.000-07:00

Work and work and work and more work .... Dying from work ... Broke down on tues....

Suprise...

2006-10-09T20:38:00.000-07:00

Suppose to meet jason @ 6pm... but he was having chat wit shepherd .. time passes ... he sae 7pm then 7.30pm then 8pm ... then 10pm... he still late ... he came @ 10.30pm... i gt veri serious gastric pain ... then he try to coax me cos he make me angry lor ... then i realise he bcos of me he jus saw tiong bahru plaza and ran all the way ... then he asked me wat i drink or eat .. i sae dun want ... then he insist then he bought me green tea ... veri touched cos i love green tea dunnoe hw he noe tt .... he alwaz guess correctly de ... then my gastric is so bad ... then he wan to buy me dinner ... he jus ran off n jus buy .... i wanted to sae no but no time lor ... he bought yee mian lor !!! sth i normally buy n like to eat instead of hor fun which he wan to buy initially ... but he still chooses yee mian ... i am so shocked lor ... he tried to make me eat ...guess wat he did ... he put the noodles on a spoon for me lor .. n if i dun eat he ll eat cos dun waste food but he actuallie full le ... i felt so bad ... he is still the jason ... last time he make winnie the pooh jigsaw puzzle for me ... i like winnie the pooh n jigsaw lor ... he din jus gave me the box of the jigsaw puzzles but he make it and frame it for me lor ... then the bk upon the wings ... he bought it when i m searching for it ... but he never ask me wat i wan or like de .. even in the past the dolphin wind chime .. is so nice cos i like blue , dolphin n wind chime n tt wind chime ve everything... he last yr went to melbourne n he went to a veri nice beach n gave me the pebble .. so touched la...
Touch until dunnoe wat to feel... Fang yu sae i m super blessed... wit him n la bi .. being so nice n patient wit me ...

Amazing ...

2006-10-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterdae is the start of my 1st event since I joined cube communications .... Is to go chinese garden for mid autumn festival ... there shld b 4 guys n 4 gers... but ... the 2 gers fly kite ... so upset la ... esp gt 1 ger sae she cum n i bought her chocolate to encourage her to cum .. but she still fly kite ... so sad ... then gt 1 guy suddenly sae wan to cum din register and din buy his ticket so i ve to buy then queue for 20mins ... then a ger came late n took my ticket ... then i went lakeside to meet him on the way there ... I msg Jason that I want cry le ... then he call me we sae we meet after tt ... then during the event sprained my ankle ... dont want to let my participants see tt i m in pain ... so mus endure ... then i saw jason wit his gal fren ... so i ask him mi being the litebulb then he .. sae the min i reply his msg is being litebulb le... he came n meet me .... then he send me hm ... wan to hold me but i dun wan & wan to take my bag ... din let him ... when reach my hse he wan to carry me but i sae no then he stubbornly take my bag away..

Bluffing & Cheating games..

2006-09-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

Why do pple to bluff or cheat another person ?
What good does it do to cheat the other person ?
How to trust and believe someone especially if a guy tells u he loves u or likes u ?
Trusting God is so easy cause I know 100% for such he wun disappoint me he wun bluff or cheat me ..
I want to trust people ... I wan to care ... but why am I always the one to be cheated or bluffed ? AM I plain stupid or in nicer words more trusting ? I dun wan to be like tt ... I seem to trust pple so readily ... Sometimes I hate myself for too trusting n oso doubting pple .... I scared of trusting pple ... I scared to get hurt ... Why do I still go n trust pple from the internet ... God help me !!!

Fears

2006-09-09T06:28:00.000-07:00

I ve a fear ... After that incident... I have a fear ... until nw i still have ... but why ? Mayb because I dont trust him or i am nt secure or our r/s r nt strong enough to withstand testing bah ... Why should I be so bothered when my heart is nt even there ??? But I will wonder has that incident affected our r/s ? Why do I keep having memories of them ?? I want to cry !! Why cant I talk to him like in the past ??

Stupid!!

2006-09-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

Felt so stupid when I realised that I am bluffed by my company ...they run away with my collegues' $$ and accuses my fren of stealing ... so bad lor ... then realise the pple i trusted actually are the ones that bluff me ... hate tt feeling... Dont want to trust people anymore !!!

Feelings..

2006-09-03T07:13:00.000-07:00

I am freezing in New santuary ... So cold ... Then yucong removes his jacket for me ... I wearing 1 jacket already ... then they gave me more jackets but i still freezing n shivering and cant move n cant find my inhaler then yucong saw my nails turn blue and got an inhaler frm leejun... very touched ... then i cant move and yucong carry me n he nearly slipped n fall ... then everyone cover me wit jackets n even gt slping bag haha... then drink hot water ... then i held on to yucong's hands until wong ling liao shi sae let the ger do it ... actually after i saw fang yu there i felt a sense of guiltyness... i tink i ll reject yucong help ... cos he is a guy n i m a ger .... nt veri nice esp holding his hand like tt ... then they sun me ... after tt we go get medicine ... then went to eat ... then tt joanna .. was so shocked tt yucong carry me cos my 3 daughters saw tt then andrew was there n suan me la tt stupid joanna ... so paiseh haha ... somemore my cell was there

Dream ...

2006-09-03T06:37:00.000-07:00

I dreamt of myself having a bf haha... but he bluffed me then i ran off n many pple cant find me then i got into trouble then i broke up with him ... Feel like a drama

Hard....

2006-08-24T22:02:00.000-07:00

Finding a job is hard... finding a good job is even harder
Finding a bf is hard.... finding a nice bf that dont take advantage of u and really love u is hardest

Hai

2006-08-24T21:49:00.000-07:00

Knowing the truth is harder than being in ur own world ...

Trust his heart

2006-08-22T05:35:00.000-07:00

Trust His Heart

Performed by Babbie Mason

Words and Music by Eddie Carswell & Babbie Mason

All things work for our good
Though sometimes we don't see how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim and you just can't see Him
Remember you're never alone

Chorus:
God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

He sees the master plan
He holds our future in His hand
So don't live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him
We see the present clearly
But He sees the first and the last
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me
To someday be just like Him

He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you

This song really touches my heart especially during this period of time where God leads me through disappointment and really tells me what it means to trust him... Even when I cant understand why he gives me a few days of happiness of finding a job and take that job away ... I believe he sees the master plan and knows what best for me which is not what I want.... Though this period of time is the hardest cause I cant find job and something happen within this time ... I really thank God that he had put this song in my heart and I believe all the lyrics are what He wants to tell me ... I want to trust his heart cause He alone knows what best for me ... Just trust his heart .....even when I dont understand , when I dont see his plan , when I cant trace his hand .... Thanks God for all the lessons that He had taught me and going to teach me ...

Memories of illness and injury

2006-08-20T10:51:00.000-07:00

So ironical... I ran after my church kids then I slipped and fall on a road outside my church south transept hall ... Then I hurt my back ... Gastric and asthma are haunting me again ... Finally , I took the courage to remove all my guards ... Actually felt prettier ... Whenever I have asthma attack I alwaz think of someone , w/o him I think I ll be dead long ago... His birthday just pass... I must alwaz thank alot of people who always care and even to the extent of carrying me home haha ... I very heavy de .... My back hurts until I cant even kneel during holy communion so sad la... I cant bend n all tt ... but I can walk haha jus slow .... told my Godsis that I look like a skinny pregnant lady haha then she sae I too far off being a pregnant lady... Even with my back , I went to NTU to look for my fren ytd and went shopping with my sistas ... Miss my tea session with my usual sistas ... even gt guys haha ( oso called sistas ) they are very gentle de n so entertaining to our sistas gathering ...

Why ??

2006-08-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

Why do I take pleasures when I know I shouldnt ?
Why do I do something when I know I shouldnt be doing ?
Why do I let my emotions run wild when I know there shouldnt be any ?
Why do I keep thinking of that incident when I know I shouldnt ?
Why do I let a guy down when I know I shouldnt ?
Why do I hope something come out of an incident when I know it wouldnt ?
Why do I even enjoy something that I am not suppose to ?
Why do I have doubts when I should already know ?
Why do I have to be so positive when I know I will be wrong ?
Why do I still hold on to a hope when I know I will be disappointed ?
Why do I have to mislead someone when I know I shouldnt ?
Why do I enjoy someone physical contact when I know I shouldnt ?

Being nice to people got underlying meanings ?

2006-08-17T13:09:00.000-07:00

Buy rose for girls , sweets for girls ... And worried about a girl whether she go home safely ... also mean that I am a butch meh ?????????????? I just like to do things for people.... Some idiot actually called me a butch ... Say i too gentlemen... should soul search ..not a good christian... Why people go and assume sth they dunnoe....

Happy

2006-08-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

Someone gotten back with his wife... And another one got a gf le ... I am so happy ...for them and for me ...

weird guy .,.

2006-08-06T11:46:00.000-07:00

So funnie ... A guy out of nowhere ... saw my fotos n ask me b his gf ... Haha ... Not as if i m a super pretty ger or wat ... Sometimes wonder wat is in a guy mind... I dont even know him .. chat wit him for awhile on msn .... HE sae he saw my foto likes me alot .. siao rite ? If i am a super pretty ger i ve nuthing to sae ... but i m nt !!

Blessing and mixed feelings

2006-08-06T09:04:00.000-07:00

Today Fang yu asks me what have i done to deserve a nice friend ... I dont know ... a friend that never scolds me even though he will kiddingly sae dint want to talk to me but he still did.... The way Fang yu describes wat he did ... When she even asks eejun if he will do tt he sae no ... I feel so blessed haha... But i dunnoe y i got tt uncertain feeling of losing this friendship... Very upset... Hai... Am I asking too much ?? I DUNNOE ... I wonder if i am so confused hw to help a young ger ....

Confused!!!

2006-07-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

Why are things happen in this way ?? I dont want... I want to read people minds ... I dont want to assume people actions... I dont to misread people actions... I want to know what they want... I know why they do certain things...I dont want to guess... I am sick and tired having those images in my mind ... and I cant doing anything abt it... Esp i hate to c couples... My feelings r all mixed up... Somehow i hope A can be jealous that I n B got physical contact.... Hai... Why guys r so irriating n so confusing ?? I HATE ALL THESE ... I DONT WANT TO GUESS and I HATE HAVNG HIM AVOIDING ME ... I DONT WANT TO C U

So confused

2006-07-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

Why do we need to ask God for gifts ??
Why do people ve criteria for their partners??
Why do guys want their wives to change churches for them ??
Why something a person cannot know because the cell group dont know??
Why do I let one of my guy fren hug my wraist when I dont like him or he is nt related to me ??
Why are there so little guys on earth??
Why cant I like the guy I want to ??
Why my expectation of guy is so different from the guy i like ??
Why am I not sure about my feelings??
Why are people fighting with other over trivial matters??
Why cant my catcus talk to me ??
Why must have leadership roles to grow in God??
Why cant I just grow in my strength and grow there??
Why must leadership be 1 of the criteria for missionary??
Why my parents cant accept me the way I am??
Why my fren wants to say that I sick or injured because I want to seek attention??
Why people can scare of cockcroaches and I cant??
Why I am thinking so much about the physical contact I and my guy fren had when we r jus fren ??
Why I am so particular abt pple apologizing to me??

Alot of whys... My brain exploded le ....

Another guy ,,, D....

2006-05-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

Jus tot I will have peace le frm all those BGR problems then came a customer, D ... He makes his fren help him take my hp no w/o his fren suspecting him lor ... He plays games then his frenz loses so mus do a dare... And it is to get my hp no and make sure is accurate lor ... And this fren tried to b so irriating n attention seeking lor ... Haha but he leaves a deep impression in me ... Then I realise that it is D who tot of it to get my hp no and I am so naive to give it to his fren la.... stupid rite... D reali no gutsla ... If wan hp no ask la ... haha but i tink he dun dare ... Anyway after knowing this D for less than a day , he says he like me since the time he laid his eyes on me ...stupid rite ... I so loud n noisy... nt a typical ger... then he tried to ask me out and cum after me ... Until nw is still nt even 1 mth tt i noe him la ... then make me feel so guilty until i sae i give him chance to cum after me ... but i tink is a bad decision i make him sink deeper jus like wat I did to O I wan to help O but he still hope i can b wit him though he noe is impossible n he push me away ignore me make me hate him etc so tt he wun hurt me haha ... D is more fan ... he can still accept everything despite i m so hostile n i scold him n hurt him ... he still go n make lucky stars for me wan to meet me ... I asked put at settlers he dun wan sae not free but gt so much time to ask me out ... Hai dun noe wat he wan

BUT MY HEART IS ALREADY FILLED WITH SOMEONE .. BUT I want to ask GOD is he the one ??

So sad

2006-05-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

I got scolding and yelling by a KPO guy who thinks he is so smart just because he is so successful in bussiness... Accused me of causing PI to lose business and chasing customers away ... I din do tt .. I just gave my honest opinion about the product and what I think is the best for the child ( the customer ) then tt stupid guy still sae i nt fair to PI and Chi yong ..... make them lose $$ nt fair to Damien... then sae he noe colin de wan to tell him ... HE MAKES ME CRY ... even my boss never scold me until like tt ... then Jasmine frm Aniplay tell him off ... haha... I dun need his apology... but at least chi yong, dzaki n my settlers support me ... I even tell tt stupid guy if he tinks i cause PI lose $$ i will pay la and if he wans to call colin he can go ahead lor ... I even call KJ lor n make him blur haha ...

Off to Thailand ,,,

2006-05-30T10:59:00.000-07:00

I AM FLYING .... TO THAILAND FOR A MTH ....

???

2006-04-19T08:36:00.000-07:00

He said he missed me ... and still have feelings for me ... He still has not shi xin ...

A one sided love story...

2006-04-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

Once a upon a time... this guy named Bhavaja liked a girl named Damayanti the 1st day he saw and tok to her at her workplace... this guy was married with a baby boy but his marriage was not a happy one but the girl encouraged him to salvage his marriage, tok to him about caring for his family without thinking he would fall in love with her... They just left each other just knowing each other' s name... Damayanti tot that she would never see him again as he is her boss's friend ... At that time she had alot issues to handle as she fights with the guy she had once loved very much with the another guy going after her at the same time... Bhavaja got Damayanti's hp no through her friend and msg her wantding to see her by asking her out... She still did not suspect anything but because of alot of issues on hand, she ask her boss to ask Bhavaja not to msg her which her boss did by bluffing Bhavaja that Damayanti had a bf.... He stopped msging her le..
Months passed... Damayanti saw Bhavaja at her working place again... This time Bhavaja became a staff of the company but different branch... He was there for training... However Bhavaja and Damayanti did not tok to each other.....
Then Damayanti went over to another branch with her collegues from her own branch... then she saw Bhavaja again.... They tok abit... Then after that he msged her ask her to celebrate birthday with him then she asked him to celebrate with his wife and son.. Then he told her he was going to be divorced soon... then she asked how about his son... She jokingly asked him to find a new mum for him... Then he said Damayanti ... Damayanti said she wanted to be nanny... She meant it ... Then she realised he meant it too ... That day Damayanti did not celebrate with him because she is busy and sick.. She told Bhavaja that she could not go as she was sick and Bhavaja was worried...
Few days later... He msged her asked her to be with him... Damayanti wanted some time .... Then he msged her asked her not to consider him anymore cause he knew he would hurt Damayanti and told her he liked her since the 1st dae he knew her ... Damayanti was stunned because she did not know he liked since 1st dae and how can he probably continue liking someone when the person had a bf.... He said if she can be his wife , he will be overjoy and he blamed fate for not letting him know Damayanti earlier .... Damayanti had someone in her heart and the person is not Bhavaja but she did not want to hurt him .... She was @ the loss of what to do ... Even her friend told her that she did consider because she pitied him... And he is not even the type of guy that Damayanti liked... She wanted to clarify things with Bhavaja... But she did not know how... She went to her friend , Kami for help... She went down to the branch wit Kami to tok to Bhavaja... She sat there wit Kami for some time but she did not how... then until Damayanti is alone after she went to washroom... She saw Bhavaja waiting to tok to her... She had probs trying to convey the message .. He tot that Kami is Damayanti's bf... Damayanti said no but she rejected him... She felt hurt cause she felt she hurt him... She apologized to him ... Then that nite she asked him why he liked her and why must he said all that to her... He told her he liked her cause of her understanding etc... And because no matter how much he liked her and wanted to be with her , he would not because he knew he would hurt her and himself and he did not want that to happen... Then he started to be very negative but Damayanti tried to counsel him .. but he asked Damayanti why she cared so much, she also did not like him... She said as a friend she wanted to care... But he did not allow her to and told her he bluffed her , he did not like her etc.. Then Damayanti was in pain then she asked him whether had he liked her before or at all... Bhavaja made a deal with Damayanti that she had to take care of herself and eat medications before he would tell her the truth... He told her the truth... He loved her alot even until the dae she rejected him... and maybe even longer... Then the next dae he asked her again to be with him... She said dont know... On sun Damayanti prayed and msged him she would never considered him anymore as he is not the one for her.... Sad for him and guilty cause hurt him before that and almost make the wrong decision that Kami is afraid ... But after that sun she and Kami were relieved and so was Bhavaja that he knew her stand ...

How others see me !!!

2006-02-17T07:24:00.000-08:00

Hi Guys,
Those who see my blog help me do a little survey want to see how you all view me ... Just copy and paste the URL , wont take up alot of your time ... Thanks

http://kevan.org/johari?view=Thaibage

Blessing in Disguise

2006-02-16T04:46:00.000-08:00

Blurest dae of my life ---> 1st order wrong food ... was thinking of hor fun but I went to order noodles... 2nd forget that that dae chinatown got road block then cant bus to go home ... have to walk so far still wrong bus stop... 3rd I fell off the bus and sprained my ankle ... YES!! AGAIN !!! But is another ankle ... 4th I forget to bring keys .... left outside the house ... Cant contact my mum ... but when after I called my pastor then tell her to pray ... then amazingly God answered ... the min after I prayed she switch on her hp and I can get thru... and she came home to open the door for me ...

I really thank GOD for the sprained ankle because if not for the sprained I have to go for UT and school but because of the sprained ankle I got 3 daes of mc and because of that I can finish my FYP on time even though the book bind take many daes ... but express is 1 dae but cost $25 bucks so expensive .... See not everything is so bad ... let give praise even if it mean sth bad at the pt of time ...

Record breaking --> I waited for a cab for an hr ... nt 10 mins or 15 mins ... is 60mins... and I have to walk so far with my customer cum frenz , pin sing to find a cab ... we found a cab near funan ... we walk from north canal rd...

Treasure that breath of air...

2006-02-06T06:15:00.000-08:00

This morning I have asthma attack on the way to sch .... Feel so sick ... I am really sick and tired of being sick and tired ... My asthma has worsen ... How I wish someone can be there to take care of me ... but will I be a burden to him ?? Will I die ?? Am I that pessimistic ? I just want to treaure my air ... And when can I really be well ?? I want to praise LORD for every tiny things regardless whther is good or bad ... I want to praise even I may die one day of asthma ... HELP!!!

Bronchial asthma

2006-02-06T04:28:00.000-08:00

Asthma is a chronic lung condition characterized by difficulty in breathing. People with asthma have extra sensitive or hyperresponsive airways. The airways react by narrowing or obstructing when they become irritated. This makes it difficult for the air to move in and out. This narrowing or obstruction can cause one or a combination of symptoms such as wheezing, coughing, shortness of breath and chest tightness.

When is Asthma really bad?

1. If the wheezing was audible periodically suddenly stops and the patient is still feeling severely out of breath.
2. If the muscles of the neck and those above the collar bone stand out in effort with every act of respiration.
3. If the attack is continuing unabated for several hours or even days with no symptom free periods in between.

Asthma attack

Asthma attacks occur when the bronchi and bronchioles become inflamed, reducing the space through which air can travel through the lungs. This causes the asthmatic to work harder to move air in and out of the lungs. Asthma attacks usually begin with mild chest pressure and a dry cough. As an attack intensifies, wheezing develops and increases in pitch; breathing becomes difficult; and coughing produces thick, stringy mucus. As the airway inflammation prevents some of the oxygen-rich air from reaching the alveoli, the cells of the body start to burn oxygen at a higher rate, actually increasing the body’s demand for oxygen. The frequency of asthma attacks varies considerably among asthma suffers. Some people have daily attacks, while others can go months or even years without having an attack.

Inflammation of the airway occurs when an irritant—such as pet hair or cigarette smoke—comes into contact with the airway walls. Upon detecting the irritant as a harmful invader, the body’s immune system sends special cells known as mast cells to the site of irritation, in this case the airway walls. The mast cells release histamine, a chemical that causes swelling and redness in a process called the inflammatory response. Histamine also causes bronchospasms, in which the muscles lining the airway walls contract repeatedly, causing the airways to narrow even more. In addition, cells that lubricate the airways with mucus—called goblet cells—overreact to the inflammatory response by secreting too much mucus. This mucus clogs the bronchioles, resulting in wheezing and coughing.

Causes...

Asthma attacks are caused by airway hyperresponsiveness—that is, an overreaction of the bronchi and bronchioles to various environmental and physiological stimuli, known as triggers. The most common causes of asthma attacks are extremely small and lightweight particles transported through the air and inhaled into the lungs. When they enter the airways, these particles, known as environmental triggers, cause an inflammatory response in the airway walls, resulting in an asthma attack.

For some people the environmental triggers are allergens. Allergens are usually natural substances, such as plant pollen and mold spores, animal dander (tiny pieces of animal hair and skin), and fecal material from dust mites and cockroaches. Allergens produce an exaggerated response of the immune system in which a specific antibody, immunoglobulin E, initiates the inflammatory response. These same allergens may cause little or no reaction in nonallergic people.

Asthma also occurs in people who do not have allergies. In these people, chemical irritants trigger an inflammatory response that is initiated in a different way than in allergen-triggered asthma. For example, some people are sensitive to certain common chemical irritants, such as perfume, hairspray, cosmetics, and household cleaners. Other chemical irritants include industrial chemicals and plastics, as well as many forms of air pollution, such as exposure to high levels of ozone, car exhaust, wood smoke, and sulfur dioxide. Current research seeks to determine whether indoor pollutants also contribute to the development of asthma.

Not all triggers are environmental. Aggravations from within the body are known as physiological triggers and include exercise and infections, such as the common cold. Sometimes substances that asthmatics eat or drink bring on attacks. Chemicals found in food or medicine—such as food sulfites found in beer and wine—and medications such as aspirin and ibuprofen are especially problematic for many asthma sufferers. Intense emotion, such as crying, shouting, or laughing, may provoke hyperventilation, a rapid inhalation of oxygen that causes the airway to narrow. In asthmatics, hyperventilation often results in an attack. Many asthmatics are especially sensitive to physical exercise in cold weather.

Research suggests that genetic factors may increase the risk of developing the disorder. Children with a family history of asthma are more likely to develop asthma than other children. Despite this apparent genetic link, many people without a family history of asthma develop the disorder, and scientists continue to investigate additional causes.

My DISC --->> Personality Style Description

2006-02-03T21:16:00.000-08:00

An extremely outgoing and social person, evonne tends to make friends easily and likes to have fun with others. She wants to make commitments even if she may be unable to keep them; but that is because of her desire to please, not because of any intent to deceive. evonne tends to be very spontaneous, easily becoming bored with routine tasks.

A loyal friend, evonne is patient and caring when attending to the needs of others. She is usually an even-paced individual who thrives in a peaceful, harmonious environment. She tends to be quite predictable, sticking with proven, reliable methods of dealing with situations rather than taking chances with a new, unproven approach.

evonne prefers to work through problems by analyzing things that worked in the past. She is willing to follow another person's lead if they display adequate ability and if evonne has confidence in their ability. She is someone who is able to lead, if necessary; but usually prefers to wait and see if another person volunteers first.

evonne is uninhibited in trying new things and prefers going by her feelings rather than just the facts. She is not afraid to try things, and may even do things in unique or unproven ways. evonne prefers to let others handle much of the detail work associated with her endeavors, preferring to focus on the creative and innovative aspect of the task.

Record breaking

2006-01-28T10:16:00.000-08:00

1. Jia mian actually called ... funny rite ? Normally only i called him haha ... but ytd he called me in the afternoon we tok ... while he works ...
2. We tok in the nite again ... we tok 3 times in a dae
3. We tok from morn 1am to 8am ... abt 7 hr ... 1 time in our life tok for 7 hrs... did feel tired in btw but we continued ... weird rite ? we sang worship songs ... tok abt life etc... is so much nicer toking to a chritian then non chritian ... he did sae he wonder wat his future ger will sae ... abt toking on phone for 7 hrs ... he ve gd life his parents din noe n din nag but my parents did n i ve veri bad gastric...
4 Think he oredi KO le ...

Feelings unsure ...

2006-01-28T10:07:00.000-08:00

Huimin read my blog about M and ask me abt it ... she ask a sensitive qns ... do i still like him ... i dunnoe hw to ans her... b4 tt i m chatting wit aun .. he sae he shy ask me to change flowers to other things like sending online flowers , orange or milk ... i oso dunnoe wat he tinking la... i dun wan him to feel embarrassed ... he is stress cos he scare i nt happy... but he still shy ... then abt M i nt sure believe he block me on msn cos he desnt wan to ve anything wit me le ... i oso din bother but huimin sae i care abt him still despite alotof other things ... i noe i cant , shldnt, mustnt cont to like M ... he is nt the one ... my feelings r so confused nw .. tot i m over M...

Opportunities for my future ...

2006-01-25T22:37:00.000-08:00

Found this advertiement or rather appeal from OMF homepage... I want to go ... and praying whether the 1st choice of being teacher is a good choice ... I noe is good but unsure ... Need god more ... esp now ve to convince my parents n oso my fears n struggles include future partner etc...

ENGLISH TEACHERS NEEDED ...

English is the international language, and there are thousands of openings for English teachers in universities, middle and even primary schools. Young Asians see English as a means of career advancement. Qualified professionals need it to update skills and interact with foreign colleagues. A five-week course in TESOL training is enough to enable you to secure a placement and we can help you obtain the necessary training. It's the simplest way of providing the skills Asia needs and provides fantastic opportunities to share your faith with students and colleagues. Teachers of a wide range of other subjects are also in demand.

Prayers for Mahasarakham staff

2006-01-23T21:29:00.000-08:00

n1. Pray for there will movements everywhere in thailand especially in the campus so that through such movements more students will come to know God...

n2. Pray for the disciples in thailand that they will stand firm in their faith and will grow in the spirit and also they can be spiritual multipliers to mulitple disciples in spirit and numbers...

n3. Pray for the mahasarakham staff team for the support raising because right now they have negative value for the team financal... Pray that they will continue to have faith in God that God will provides and pray for people to have the heart for thai work will support them...

n4. P kan is one of the thai staff in Maharashakham team ... Thanks God that her mum has prayed to receive christ.. Pray that she will grow in faith and know God more each day, and all the strongholds that is on her will be torn down and God may grant her strength, peace, hope and joy during this tough period where her husband in hospital... Pray for the salvation of her family and the health of her dad as her dad is in hospital , pray that during this period of time her family and her dad can come to know the love of God and to heal her dad... Pray for P kan that she will be to raise about S$2000 for a mission trip in march according to God's will and God will prepare christians with hearts of passion in mission to support her in terms of finances and she will not worry and learn to trust God for the money as God will provides ultimately according to His will... Also pray for the country that she going to ( name of country is unknown cause is a closed country ) ... Pray that the grounds of the country will be soften and God will prepare the way and open the hearts of the people in the country to be willing to hear the word of God...

n5. Pray for P mini, Pchaw and their little baby girl, Faith (1 yr 4mths old)... Pray for P mini as he is in charge of all the staffs of Mahasarakham and also in charge of Shalom church 2 in Mahasarakham.. Pray that he will continue to have faith and to lead his team of staff and family to have closer walk with God and for pchaw to have rest as she has to take care of the family especially little Faith and also serve in the ministry... Pray that the both of them will provide Faith an environment where she will know God more each day as she grows up and pray that she will like her name to have faith in God and to grow stronger in body and in spirit ...

n6. Pray for P daw that she can continue to have a closer walk with God each day in her serving in church and crusade , pray that she will not be overwhelm by the work and drift away from God but trusts God in anything and everything...

Prayers for bangkok crusaders

2006-01-23T09:04:00.000-08:00

1. Ram CCC - for they are preparing their letter to raise support ,
pray that as they do that, they can continue to have in God to lead
them and provide for them and all the preparations need to be done
to write the letter etc...

2. Students - they are going to start their tests soon ... the 1st
test is from 26 jan - 5 feb and 2nd test is from 26 feb - 19 mar...
Pray that they focus and study well for God and have good time
management to handle between school work and ministry work, and they
dont neglect their health and other aspects of their life during
this period of time and they will be closer to God ...

3. Camp - they have a camp from 11 -13 feb ... Pray for their
preparations of the camp and their hearts that they will not lose
focus of God in the midst of preparations

4. Arm - He is going to graduate soon after his exam.. pray for his
directions in life as in what he is going to do after graduation
etc... and also for his health as he is always down with diarrhea ...

5. Tom - He is in army now ... Pray that he will be salt and light
in the camp and even without the bible he is able to continue to
have quiet time with God in prayer and worship and he will walk
closer to God more each day and also for his health so he will not
fall sick in camp...

6. Aun - He is preparing for his final exams before he graduate and
he also works full time during this time ... Pray that he can manage
his time well and will not fall sick @ this period of time... Pray
that he will not be away from God due to his hectic schedule and
still be able to serve ... And be a good testimony in his workplace and family...

7. Rest - Pray that they will continue to have faith in God and be a
salt and light either in schools or non christian friends ... And
pray that they are able to stand firm in their faith even when
confronted by family or friends and they can continue to be
christlike in such bad environment where there are so many idolism
and bad infleunces like sexual influences etc ...

8. Thailand - Pray that all the stronghold that trap people hearts
be torn down so that they will know God and for their hearts to be
open o gospel , and more labourers in the field in thailand to
spread the gospel as there are many people that have not heard of
the word and have not known our true living God...

Holidaes in Thailand ...

2006-01-19T00:50:00.000-08:00

13 Nite ---- 17 Nite --> Trip to thailand, bangkok
Place of stay: Bangok Inter place >> near yokie and Arm 's house... Must learn to complain... aircon spoilt living in hotness for 4 nite... Tv is the most common used item in the room... TV is always on before we sleep and after we wake up... got alot of nice food around the hotel... can see the stadium ..so cool
Places visited: Watergate market... Khaosan road... Bangkok army camp... staffhouse - girls
Exciting things ::: Taxi broke down on an expressway ... then have to run acroos the road ...so scary... play bingo ....throwing darts @ balloons... drinking thai tea without milk and sugar ( then realise is a bad choice ) ... 1st time eat a worm ( bad choice too ) ... then ask for flowers ( is a joke but bcome a promise ) ... joanne fight bathroom with me and i m injured .... Attend shalom church ...saw the service so exciting though worship only can sing 1 song ...went to thailand army camp.... went khaosan road... to Nite market saw many many flowers... dye and highlite my hair in thailand... make 'white' rojak ... eat abt 15 mangoes in 4 daes
Funny things ::: Aun sae he shy , no $$ and dont where to buy me flowers... kana suan by oh and nina abt aun ... oh push me towrds aun , joanne oso ... i run back to hotel in the middle of nite alone to go toilet then a policeman riding a bicycle shouted at me cos i block his way but i din notice him i screamed cos i tot who then he oso screamed cos he cant c me clearly ... And the elephant sneezed on me .... and that stupid aun laugh @ me .....
Touching things ::: Aun called yokie just to remind her to pass me the dictionary and cd ... he drew 2 portaits of me in spore... even at airport he is there to help - cos I scared of height when i go down the stairs... my thai frenz tease him n me n when i saw flowers i like they ask me to ask aun buy ... then i jokingly msg him tt i want flowers... tt nite dinner he sae he shy n nt enough $ and dont where to buy ... then on sun he still remembers abt tt ... after service other church mates gave him roses ... then he abit loss then he looks @ me and I playing basketball ... ask me go over and give me the roses... he looks so shy and feel so paiseh .. I feel funnie too ... then mon msg him ask him can pass me the cd and help buy dictionary then tues he buy me a dictionary and burn a cd for me ... He tok to me on the phone in the morn.. he sae sorrie he cant buy flowers cos he working and he sae sim card not enough to msg me back ... then ask me go airport call him ... and i did then the 1st thing he sae is sorrie he cant come airport wit flowers for me ... and i ve headache @ tt pt so i told him i sick he is worried wan me to rest, slp eat medicine and he scared wan me to take care ... then he aske mwhether i like tt dictionary i like i wan to pay him back he sae no is a gift frm to me ... wan me to study my thai well have alot of things to sae but cant express so i study thai well can tok to him ... he sae the most touching thing ---> he is sad he cant go airport to see me , he wan to c me ... then i cried ....
I love thailand n thai food .... i saw my thai bro , tom but loss of words in the army camp ... i miss him very much ve very little time to tok to tom... have so much things to tell him ...i worried tt the officer will punish him cause I stand there watch them ....then as we left a grp of officers standing behind me giggle n point @ me n tok in thai then i realise frm yokie tt they find me cute ( bcos tt dae yokie tie my hair in plaits ) ... so paiseh... sat i ate the stupid worm nearly cried then tt stupid aun laugh @ me ... we jus like to push $$ to each other cos we r alwaz fighting to pay for sth... i bought a tshirt in appreciation for his dictionary ( frenz comment we like couple the way tok on the hp n buying things for each other... mayb nt ) .. Aun is os popular with singapore gers in meta hear some many pple sae he gd looking etc even those who jus saw his pic...
I like the ger staff called p nik di she is so cute ... she comment tt i look like korea crusade staff ... I ate alot of food in thailand - sok ki , tom yam, ya ma maug, som tom n the sotong eggs is so nice ... craving for it now ...

Now back to spore i reali wonder abt my love for thailand , abt aun ... my bro tom ... the church even the pple on the street tt doesnt noe god ... I feel for them .. god reali put a big burden in me to serve a country ... never never have so feeling or even felt for a place or someone so much .... to a pt i promise god tt i will trust him in using me in my calling to serve full time in missions nt jus going include everything frm $$ to future partners to my parents eto my church etc... The more i m comfirmed tt god called , the more fears i ve and more realistic the fears n struggless bcome .. but i trust god for all tt ...

time wit thai ... .

2006-01-04T21:59:00.000-08:00

25 dec >> was christmas ... so excited ... but more exciting was that faith came with p mini, p chaw, p daw and p kan... I went to fetch them @ the airport... seeing faith make me os 'high'... she runs, jumps and so cute.... bought her a dress...

26 dec >> yokie , arn and arm should arrive in the morning ... but due to miscommunication, i went to airport but they were late for the flight have to change another flight and in the afternoon but i ve to work so i did not get to see them ...

27 dec - 30 dec >> Meta camp... came very late ... cause of asthma attack ... I was so tired ... did not feel like going but i did and no regrets ... Very fun and really learn alot despite all the sickness and injuries... ANd learn dancing from yokie and arn ... Then realize that my CGL , lindy and many gers are attracted to arn haha.... so funnie ... they all find him cute... and the best i m so close to him ... even my cgl ask me y i n him can b so close ....

30dec>>Esplande time... we went to suntec for dinner... i only have dessert cause need to go church youth retreat @ st andrew centre... took a photo of the ice kachang for aun... then we went to take photo city link....

31 dec>> Derick's big day - his wedding wit Stella... invited arm, aun , yokie to the tea ceremony then derick's daddy send them to my house ...but to wrong place ... so funnie... arm n aun came my hse to slp.... they so tired... n yokie explore my room n everything ... guys dun cum my rm so they stay in living rm ... n my mum came back n took a photo wit them n my aunt too ... My aunt is full praises for aun ...haha ... aun never seen me in tube dress b4 ... so he wan to take photo but i stop him cos hair messy .. then we went down settlers hoping to get my pay but Eric not around ..M saw aun n the rest ... wonder wat he tinking n the rest oso ... Then we went to wedding ... gt faith...she wore tt purple dress tt i bought for her ... she is sooooo cute but she vomit on pmini n pchaw ... poor them ... looking @ them make wan to marry too n ve a kid like faith... we went to watch fireworks @ esplande ... but lose matthea, arm and aun ... then cant call oso due to network prob... then we go for a walk ... i tok jiamian the whole nite most pple tink he is my bf haha ...esp yokie ... aun ask me am i ok ...then melvin came to go hm wit us after supper @ 2plus in the morn ...

2 jan>> the thai staff r flying back so sad.... i bought faith a dolphin... she love it ... n i love her ... i miss her n p chaw n the rest... pchaw n i hug each other when faith nt ard if she nt happpy ... then arm aun yokie n the rest went to sentosa ... I n justin went for lunch 1st ... then he sae i n melvin gt fu qi xiang i nearly laugh my head off .... then matthea tot i n justin together etc ... alll siao de ... alvin is so nice during the game when he pass me the ball when he is nt supposed to ... others sae his help is alittle too obvious ...then i fell aslp during performance @ the musical fountain ... n i fell on alvin..so pai seh ... hope no one is jealous ....

3 jan>> went to eat wit melvin, elena yokie, arm and aun ... make melvin ask alvin wat he wan for christmas ( very late i noe ) ... then aun pass me a portrait of me ... so touched but he draw me until i look like a ah lian so sad ....then he forget to draw for matthea ... i tell him i want another portrait...then we went brash brasa then i saw chuan n calvin ... realize tt aun is a designer....then we went to ruby birthday party ... the thai sang thai songs so nice ............ then saw along lost friend wen siang realise he is ruby church mate... world is so small

4 jan>> bought alvin a tshirt ... then @ airport realise that aun draw another portrait of me but forget to bring n when i ask him whether he got draw matthea .. he sae yes but melvin nudge him n sae he didnt ... he forgotten n oso forgotten to bring my portrait left it @ melvin hse ...we went for dinner ... jiamian came... then huien bf ask me is jiamian my bf ... i sae no even yokie sae bf ...

Interests.......

2005-12-25T10:06:00.000-08:00

Likes::::
Piano, flute, bells, dance, acting, backstage, craftwork - designing n making accessories, make gift boxes, read, sing, listen to music, watch dance and plays and musicals and movies, seaside,wind, clouds, volleyball, ice - skating, serving god, bacteria, lemon, chili, alot of veggies, tiramisu, mango cake, mango - green color, som tum, ya ma mung, thailand - include everything except for the idolism culinary art, look @ cakes, taking photos - things , nature and scenery, compose songs - lyrics onli though, boardgames, stoning/dazing, plans events, befriending, extreme sports like kayaking , rock climbing etc , judo, chatting and comfoting pple .....

Feelings

2005-12-25T08:42:00.000-08:00

Sad - I dont know why... can be a lot of factors which include M ...
Awkward - due to Ed n M .. ed cos i reject him ( mayb tt y he never come online animore or he blocked me haha ) ... M is i trying to avoid him as much as i can
Jealous - M is all wit gers
Confused - I m suppose to not like him ... I am suppose to let go... but i dun seem to b doing that ... I noe that God has reasons for y we r like tt and i m fully responsible for the situation lor ...
Hopeful - Been hoping tt 1 dae i n him can be frenz
Pressurised - Everyone ard are getting attached like caris n weiquan, janice n willis, sean n jenny, chuan n ling etc.... But i m alone .... I wan to b attached but GOd let it be ur will ...
Angry - M still never get out of his childishness...

Reali hope that the incident never happen ... everytime something happen related to him strike me veri hard ... make me very sad ... even is christmas ... tok to jiamian .... ed saw but i avoid eye contact wit him ... i feel guilty ... esp when he sae he will b happy if i m truly happy wit m but he noe we cant make it .... but he oso noe tt even anything i still ve feelings for M and willing to b there for M and follow M wherever he go ... tt tis the onli time i m so truthful wit myself ... Time passed very fast ... ORedi finish the mime performance , diocese youth camp ... going meta soon n new yr ... i reject ed during camp cos joann encourage me ... after a mth I tot i can forget M like the way i forget LJ but is nt ... cos Lj ultimately is jus admired then i tot is like ... but nt M ... I dont want M to affect my other relationship with other guys..... ...........

Confused ... Dilema ...

2005-11-30T21:44:00.000-08:00

Really thought of quitting Settlers .... Dilema ... I love settlers but the pressure is too much ...

Feelings ...

2005-11-30T09:04:00.000-08:00

A lot of mixed feelings ... i n m nearly quarrel over tiny matter ... or rather he blew his top @ me ... he gave way to me n i gave way to him ... then i din go he is angry ... why must it b like tt ???????? i reali love him la ... help , GOD ...i saw his back hurts ... i reali wan to care ... he ve interview today ... I reali wan to b there for him , I wan to ask him hw is the interview , hw his back is ... n have him comforting me ... sometimes i oso dun noe i m jus comfortable to ve him ard or reali dun wan lose him ... Working wit him is strain on me.... i wan to separate work n my love ... so hard

Drenched & Sad...

2005-11-29T22:26:00.000-08:00

Just now I went for mime rehearsal .. before that I went to PI and saw gloom ... wanted to buy the original and expansion pack... but i ve no $$ and i dun noe whether I wan to b reminded of M...
during the mime ... i seem to b the one affecting everione ... always cant get into the character ... is so hard ... am i cut out to b in theatre ..... I wan to do it well .... so sad ...
Then went down to settlers to meet shaojing they all ... but i m drenched .... look like jus have a shower on the street ... reach settlers dripping with water ... saw M outside the cafe ...though we acknowledge each other, we never talk @ all .. not even care whether i drenched or nt... but the moving rubbish went in automatically gave me a cup of hot water ... then he take it back and put honey... and take lemon for me ... but M is ignoring the fact and me ... He jus act ignorant to the fact i m wet ... nt 1 word of concern.... i m damm sad la ... even moving rubbish show me concern... and other pple nt close to me oso try to b nice lor ... but he went to tok to Eliza being nice to her ... so pain... my heart bleed ... the more such things happen ... the more i n M have no more chance le ... His back hurts ... feel like comforting him telling him is fine ... i ll b there for him n his back ... I wan to care but I cant .. I can only act blur ... I wan to hug him ... I wan to care !!! I wan him to noe tt i reali care nt used him ...
And Ed think is gd tt i n M no chance .... at tt pt when he sae tt i feel like slapping him ... he been wishing tt 1 dae i n M will hate each other ... he is so immature ... he ruin his chance with me le ... but I wan to ed to noe tt even i n M cant b together i still care n wori n upset over M ... he noe tt i love M but he alwaz hope n think tt if M dun i ll give up or if i n M fight i ll give him a chance ... I did try to consider tt option but after wat he sae ... i find tt is a no ...

A lesson learnt....

2005-11-27T23:28:00.000-08:00

There is no U – turn in relationship. Once something happens that causes changes to a relationship, there is no way it can go back to its original state. Like a vase that is broken, no matter how much glue or tape will not bring back the original state of the vase, there will be a blemish. And not everything or everyone gives you second chance, so never do things that you will regret. What done is done, it cannot be undone. I did not treasure and cherish someone that is very important to me and I hurt him so badly that I lose him. Only then I realize that he is very important to me but I cannot turn back the time and undo the mistake just like Tracy can’t undo the harm she had inflicted on Yew Tai. The minute the damage is done, people don’t trust you anymore.
I paid a high price for this lesson... so high ... I am going to let go ... If it meant to be , it meant to be ... If not , then just move on ... I dont know how can someone be so happy that another person not on good term with others .... and how can he imagine or even wish that I fell out wit M ... damm shocked by him and very sad that he say such things... To me he become so naive and immature ... but he has gone through so much and so old ... he shouldnt be telling me that and even thinking of that ... I think he can guessed that my worries and sadness is associated with M ... but he is wori n scared ... I know that he think that if I n M cant make it then he ll ve chance la .... and also he dont want M to b so impactful even when I fell out wit M , still care for him... He noe i need time ... he want a proper answer .. I ve but I didnt want to give him yet cause I want to know by the end of the 1 mth ... is M still the one i love ...

Gone...

2005-11-25T03:31:00.000-08:00

The thing I detest ... happens... He is gone ... I miss having him the way he treat me ... the stroke , the pat he ve for me ... but I see it nt to me but to another girl ... my heart breaks .... shattered ... I even lose a frenz .... I am sorry....

Life...

2005-11-24T16:14:00.000-08:00

Since sat.. Life has a mystery to me ... and the funnie part I think more of it and my future which include family , children etc... I think alot ... even btw me and Ed , M etc ... How am I going to move on in life ... I learn to put down things for GOD ... The peace that God gave yesterday is so much that I had never felt so peaceful before ... Even I know I may lose M ... Cause ytd went back to settlers to pass back the things to M ... We din tok at all ...But I felt relieved ... That amazing ... Whether will things go back normal , I wont know but I know I had let go ... Got asthma din go sch ... Sometimes I jus hate the coldness in rain ... Just had lunch with fan meng and fang wen ... we tok alot of life and even family and abt one of our frenz too ... and alot of funnie things ... Most of my problems seem so small ... Rain is nice but i alwaz get sick during rainy season ... Miss the times that i walk n run in the rain ... feel so relax ... Thanks God .. reali let go n let GOD is so peaceful de ...

Is dying an option or solution ?

2005-11-20T03:00:00.000-08:00

My life is in a mess ... Just with family ... Told M but got scolding .... I always thought that I know why I want to die , but after talking I dont know why ... WHy are there options that I didnt want to take ? Why are there alternatives that I dont to consider ? Why am I complaining ? WHy do I chose that option? He is pissed and angry with me , very disappointed, very irriated ... and I know as a friend he cares ... But I dont know why I am not listening to him . I just want to make things right ... I dont want to be separated from GOD ... Why am sinking into the lies of Satan that I can go and die and is better ???? Why do I have to consider that choice when I know is a super bad choice ? Why do I have to alwazys give excuses to people options ? WHY? WHY ? M hung up my call ... I know he is fuming ... He is sick and tired of seeing and hearing me so negative ... Why do I have to tell him all these ? If I dont , he wont knows ... And he wont be pissed and angry and irriated ...

Seven things about me

2005-11-19T07:25:00.000-08:00

Seven things that scare me
1 - loneliness
2 - Losing my way
3 - Losing him .... but I think it had happened
4 - People ignoring or angry with me
5 - Losing loved ones
6 - Not being able to look after myself
7 - Life without friends

Seven things I like the most
1 - To feel loved
2 - Boardgames!
3 - Mango cake /Tiramisu
4 - Friends
5 - Soups
6 - Fruits and Vegetables
7 - having loads of love

Seven important things in my room
1 - My books
2 - My eeyore
3 - My bookshelf
4 - My boardgames
5 - My gift boxes - full of very sweet and nice memories
6 - My daddy's stuff
7 - My collection of bags

Seven random facts about me
1 - I am loud , reali loud
2 - Given a choice, I won't be eating
3 - I love sports but cant cause of my stupid ankle and my back
4 - I love getting massages
5 - I dont who I am and what I wants ...
6 - I nearly died
7 - I want to die
Seven things I plan to do before I die
1 - Someone to understand me
2 - To remain married to someone I love till I die
3 - To make my parents happy
4 - To live in a house
5 - To have a family
6 - To be a missionary
7 - To write letters to everione

Seven things I can do
1 - Theatre
2 - Survive an entire day without food
3 - Sleep talk/sleep walk
4 - Dont sleep for days
5 - Sleep standing up
6 - Dance
7 - Socialise with a room full of strangers

Seven things I can't do
1 - Organize my life
2 - Listen to people
3 - Making people angry without making myself upset
4 - Paint
5 - Eat food without veggies
6 - Say no to offers of Tiramisu and mango cakes
7 - Stop playing boardgames

Hai ...

2005-11-19T03:35:00.000-08:00

Damm sad ... I dun noe wat i m feeling rite nw ... I feel sad jus nw cos I n M became strangers ... worse than him n other pple lor ... y ??? I jus wan it to b back like in the past ... I reali dunnoe wat he is tinking n feeling which I reali wan to noe ... he msg to comfort as few daes ago I nearly tried to end my life ... he promise tiramisu ... but todae the tiramisu went to 3 gers ...nt jealous... scared rather ... wat i observe is true .... Pain arh ...

Me n my future partner ....

2005-11-19T02:33:00.000-08:00

Your dating personality profile:

You matched the following traits:

Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.
Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you.

Your date match profile:

You match with men who have following traits:

Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape.
Traditional - You aren't looking for someone who is sexually repressed. You want someone who is adventurous under the covers.
Big-Hearted - You want someone compassionate, someone gentle and kind. A loving, nurturing person will fill that hole in your life.

Your Top Ten Traits, Ranked - me

1. Athletic
2. Big-Hearted
3. Religious
4. Liberal
5. Wealthy/Ambitious
6. Traditional
7. Practical
8. Adventurous
9. Romantic
10. Sensual

Angry , upset ...

2005-11-17T09:03:00.000-08:00

Todae is a busy dae ... a sad dae ... an angry dae .... M ask me to F*** off and yell @ me ... I am stunned ... veri shocked ... Is he the M i noe or nt ? I noe he is angry with customers , and I ask him @ the wrong time ... but is customers who want that ... n ask me .... I ve to ask him cos I cant contradict him ... I din do anything wrong lor .... but y ??? Then he slam the bottle in front of me ... wat he tinks he is doing ..... I want to forget n forgive so hard ..... After he is slightly back norm I think ... I dont whether gt to do wit anione ... The scence of him yelling alwaz appears in mind ..... B4 I went off told him ... Thanks for telling me to F*** off ... I din see his reaction but someone else saw it .... I AM SO SAD N ANGRY !!!

Kermit frog

2005-11-16T22:38:00.000-08:00

I am a Kermit the Frog because ....

You scored 45% Organization, 60% abstract, and 84% extroverted!

You are mostly organized, both concrete and abstract, and more extroverted.

Here is why are you Kermit the Frog >>>

You are both somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean. You aren't totally obsessed with neatness though. Kermit is also reasonably tidy. He'll even dress up for interviews. You both are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinkers. Kermit spends a lot of his time as a reporter collecting facts, but he is also the author of the dreamy song "The Rainbow Connection." You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course.You are both extroverts. Kermit gets along with everyone. Sure a few folks annoy him, but that's just because they are annoying. Kermit likes to meet new people when he does his job as a street reporter. You definitely enjoy the company of others, and you don't have problems meeting new people... in fact you probably look forward to it. You are willing to take charge when necessary or work as part of a team

Learning to Relax ....

2005-11-15T01:59:00.000-08:00

Today M is sick and dont have to work ... so is the only time we chat more bah .... Realize he likes to ice skate ... nowadays so hard to find people who like to skate ... then realize he went to make tiramisu... it bring me back alot of memories .. about my past relationship etc... I like tiramisu ... Love it ... As it is one of my favorite , another is mango cake ... He tells me to relax ... Below is the dialogue -->

M: ah ... just relax lah ,always telling u to relax but u never do so. Always very loud and very active.
E: washing plates can b relaxing
M: hahaha .... not enuf for u
E: once i quiet dwn is the time i stone
M: hahaha . stone. i've seen that before , thats not relaxing...thats just zoning out and when pple stone they stare far far away,. their body might be here but their mind are somewhere else
E: mean daydream?
M: in yr case ur not daydreaming , ur like just standing there like a dead duck , super ugly
E: tt quite sad to sae is ugly
M: hahah ... well u look terrible when u are tired , so u should get more zzz and look more alive

Lets imagine the scene ... and how actors/actress will act such a scene ... Now is another scene ...

E: I want to drink peach tea
B: NO!!
E: Not cold
B: NO!! Drink warm water
( B went to kitchen to get lukewarm water for E and even test it himself whether will it be too hot for E ... Everyone called B mummy because of that .... E drinks it )
Y: If u take cold drinks , I tell B and he will nag at u
E: M also nag
Y: Good , I want his hp no ... so he can control you ...

I didnt go to work today ... weiquan took over my shift ... No pt going dwn ... Cos I have to face someone I din want to alone .... And most of my guy frenz have probs with gf came to look for me .... sometimes find it funnie ... cause i m nt a typical ger hw can i give advice ??? I cant even settle my own love probs .... Like I dun noe wat is S thinking about when he ask me in the morning if he likes me will i accept .... I ask M for help... but he sae dun implicate him in ... I also dunnoe is good or bad ... But something I can gurantee ... S definitely dont have chance ... cause I smoke him before ... bluff him that I like someone else .. I wonder when will I get a bf .... B and M always I dont know how to take care of myself .... B jus scolded me ytd for drinking cold stuff ....
I want to skate and play volleyball now !!! Damm sad I cant ... Damm jealous of M lor he can go swim ( but I dont know how to ) and run ..... Shld learn from M ...things happen but he learn to take things in his stride ... which is so hard ... think he n B veri strong .... not onli physically but mentally ... Seeing B i noe tt i ll be safe de and M is tt i feel comforted ...

Serve a grp of customers of 7 guys last fri ... Not even my shift :( jus wanna to help them ... n dun feel gd letting my customers unattended ... I teach them around the world in 80 days , ostrakon, jungle speed ( played with them and won ) .... Cause i m the onli ger ... they suan me , tease me ... even M oso kana ... but we ve cakes cause 1 of them birthday and it happen he knows Willis chay .... They are so fun ... hope they enjoy my service ... then they told M they want me to serve next time ... n M sae they like calling for gers like tt and 7 guys 'bully' the only ger... but we had fun ... Then even Ed also saw the way I tok to them ... n Eliza came ... then M tease her ... feel that he likes her ... haha ... then nuthing happens ... then huiyi n shaojing came too ... See that M is super stressed ... still drink beer ... and a grp of customers take forever to bill pissed him off .... bought him mentos n deliberately give him in front of Ed ... I feel bad ... but no choice ... M wanted to join us to go out ... dun noe he joking or he wan to c someone ... Went hm abt 3plus in the morn ... He never admit it ...
Me , eliza, shaojing, deric, huiyi went to buy +mas decor ... then eliza tot of deric bdae gift so she used my hp called M and tok abt it ... We walked and walked ... and i sprained my ankle again ... then saw blue snowflake and insist on buying it even though no stock ... so we took it off the trees and get them to sell me ... veri pretty lor
Knock down by bicycle cause I stone n knock my head on the lamp post when i going home on sun ... So blur lor ... veri pain but recovering ... haha
I hope that ed n I can cont to b frenz ...

The Which Historic General Are You Test

2005-11-14T06:02:00.000-08:00

A Hippie
You scored 53 Wisdom, 39 Tactics, 56 Guts, and 23 Ruthlessness!
You know nothing about tactics or war. You are docile and cowardly and the mere thought of violence is enough to make you wet yourself. Hate to break it to you, but chances are very good that you're not General material.... not even BAD General material. Hell you're probably not even a productive member of society. Why are you even here? Don't you have a peace pipe to smoke, or a war to protest or something? So here's to you and to whatever naive country that lets you vote....
Leaders who share your beliefs include: Jaques Chirac and Gerard Schroeder My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 18% on Unorthodox

You scored higher than 3% on Tactics

You scored higher than 53% on Guts

You scored higher than 3% on Ruthlessness

Loss..........

2005-11-07T01:00:00.000-08:00

Haha... I know who organize my birthday party in settlers le .... is M_ _ _ ... so happy that I know .... but shld b able to guess de lor .... jus tt I blur
Alot of things happen since my birthdae... Knew oscar for a dae ... the next dae he asked colin for my no ... but colin is nice dun give him then that idiot fredik so kind hearted ... gave him ... then he msg me ask me mon free... i sae no then he ask me thurs free... i sae no then he cont to msg me .... then i onli know edward like less than a mth ... then he ask me whether i like him , whether i like mark, whether i ve bf , whether i n mark together , m i les etc .... then we tok abt other things ... then dunnoe whether issit i sae i dun mind guy nt rich n handsome jus nt sticky n possessive n christian ... i told him b4 i like him onli as a frenz, collegue, bro ... nt as his gf .... but he sae he like me nt as bro n sis ... he never treat me like sis b4 ... then we tok .... the next dae he assume tt i can give him a chance ... so he msg me whether i mind him b my bf ... i m so damm shock la ... then i go n call mark ... he is angry wit me the dae b4 ... but dun wan tell me y ... so sad :'( but is fine nw ... haha nw to edward n mark until i wan to kill myself ...

HAHA...

2005-11-01T04:19:00.000-08:00

On sun , cabbages gave me 2 ankle guards - 1 is ankle wrap with adjustable compression and the other is ankle sleeve .... I m so touched ... chosen by chuan ... Then we went shopping ... to c computers n laptops ... weixin n chuan nearly vomitted blood cos i so blur n stupid wit IT ...
Work yesterday ... with mark , edward, yanxiang, eric, kaejar, darren, caris'sbro [cant remember his name heehee ]... chin siang n javen came dwn jus as customers haha..... Mark tried to comfort me when i came cos i look so damm sad n he asks me whether i eat n all tt in the kitchen reali damm sweet n all ..... ... he alwaz noe hw to comfort me ... Then saw my regular customer cum frenz , valerie , chris {her bf}, jenny , kf [her bf] ... played some games wit them ... then teasing came ..... I shld blame myself for being big mouth ... go and say they very loving ... then they sae i also can ... then mark walk pass .... then they sae i n mark **** then i ask mark to take over to teach ... they still giggling there ... i went in kitchen to force myself drink honey water cos mark sae i shld cos i omost ve no voice le ... so hoarse he said ... then valerie n jenny wrote in the feedback form that i m friendly but shy ard mark .... i nearly wan to burst out laughing .... i pass it to edward ... then edward read it out to mark ... wonder wat edward thinks abt it esp b4 tt he jus sae he wan to accompany me to buy mp3 player when i mumbling to myself tt i forget to call weixin to ask him help me to buy mp3 player or ask him accompany me ... then i sae i wan my weixin to go instead of him .. then he gave me tt sad look ... mark jus omost fainted by the comment ... n told my frenz he nt working the dae they come in the future... wonder is he nt happy .... n wat he tinks ...
I like someone but cant sae ... but i dun like someone i oso cant sae ... So stupid .... GOD shows me the sign , tell me who is meant for me ...

bdae .....

2005-10-26T02:18:00.000-07:00

It has been 2 days after my 21st birthday le.... feel funny bah ... I should be super happy ... cause 3 grp of pple celebrate wit me ... 1 is my cabbages , my parents and settlers family ... On 23 oct ... 10 acting veri gd ... act until i thought something happen to her but she just wan to get rid of me so she get a bdae cake for me ... I shld thank xiao yao she is alwaz the one who tell the rest that is my bdae in tuan qi ... veri touched ... then we tok crap for hrs until abt 7pm ... tok to 10 abt chuan n other pple n bgr probs ... then when the guys cam back we started singing christian song @ the stone table... so fun ... then i went to ve dinner with my mum n dad ... a dinner treat frm dear mummy ...
Then came 24 oct .... went to sch then to work .... 1st i saw chin siang .. gt curious ... then saw edward , alvin , weide , charis , darren, colin, mark, roderick, willis, weiquan.... so many of the staff ... feel so weird cause is not staff nite ... n alot of customers appeared compared to other mons... went to wash plates .... then gt chase out of kitchen by kajer cos colin want me to learn new game ... i feel so bad that i din help ..... they dun let me go back to help .... then play 1/2 way someone brought out a cake wit candles ... haha.. i m stunned n embarrassed when my settlers family sang bdae song ... n somemore so loudly until customers join in ...
Really touched ...
The culprits -->
1. the cake is decorated wit whip cream by darren, cherry n craving of my name on the cake by caris ...
2. the present chosen by mark and ripple ...
3. cake chosen by mark - is mango cake my fav ...
4. a alcoholic sprite chocolate ice cream float by darren n colin ... alcohol by colin , ice cream by darren
Then they make me drink tt digusting drink but make wit love .... haha... i hate chocolate ice cream de .... haha that shld thanks darren .. i became veri denfesive cos i dun like chocolate ice cream n din drink it immediately .. then edward came n tried to help me drink it up but after 1 sip ... he told me is alcoholic and quite high in content .... haha... but still i drink it ... then after mins ... i flash on my face n my body ... I drop a glass n cut myself cos i became veri tired and drop the whole box of bucket king super clumsy.... but i still continue to serve n tok to my customers ... WEIDE THANKS !!! he washes the plates and clear most of the things for me ... n oso i feel gd .. cos the customers r nice and give nice feedback ... I went upstairs to join them ... then darren, edward, chin siang , weide playing mahjong since i ve nothing to do i share beside edward n watch .. then i gt headache... he try to comfort me ... n gt abit distracted haha ... then i read my plays ... played wit the game tt weiguo brought it in ... i love tt game when i m alone .... ... after hr or so sitting beside edward ... mark took over weide ... n i went to join the rest in playing power grid .. is fun though is lengthy ... after tt willis left wit caris n her bro .. i became the onli ger there .... then until 4plus ... darren, weide n weiquan went hm le cos darren need to b hm by 5.15am.... left me , edward, mark, roderick, eric, colin... colin went to tok to eric .. .then we played bridge... but colin wan to tok to me ... so i became a dummy .... then rod went to slp on the floor... we started toking until 6plus in the morn ..... then i went wit mark n edward to toa payoh ... we shared cab then i n mark alight 1st then edward went hm ... i wan to go toa payoh polyclinic cos nt filling too well ... we had breakfast n sharing then realise the clinic nt open so sad ... then i called edward .. i woke him up so pai seh .. he wan to come dwn to meet me ... but mark sae he will take care of troublesome me ... but ultimately i went hm to c doc instead .... edward msg me saying he wish he can help .... then afternoon i called him to sae sori .... then he ask me out for dinner cos he wan to celebrate my bdae wit me ... 1/2 way he asked whether i had bf ... i sae no ... wanted to tell him tt my heart is oredi occupied fully occupied but i din ... aniwae i need to go back sch @ 4plus so i told him i cant meet him cos i dunnoe meeting until wat time ... bcos of his sms i m quite shocked when he wan to cum my sch to fetch me ... i tot of someone else and i loved him for yrs bah .... but he never noes cause i never let him noe ... haha... he ll b a gd husband, father , bf .... he is kid orientated so musically inclined ... n nice vocal ... he is a bull .... but i believe his heart is oso filled le ... he is still my nice frenz ... n bro ...
Got a message from tom saying he will pass gift to yokie n arm when they cum spore ... they coming ... they coming to spore so happy .... on 26th dec.... reali hope the time come faster .... i miss them so much esp tom cos he is going army soon ...
I thanks GOD for the things that had happened ... he ll lead ... god tell me what i m suppose to do .. help me !!!

Dilema

2005-09-22T01:26:00.000-07:00

Been thinking for long while about changing xiao zhu or church .. I feel neglected GOD ... You know how I feel... I think alot about what chuan has said on sun or rather wat we fight abt ... I reali find him stubborn ..but at the same time i find myself listening to him ... n quite obedience to him bah ... mayb he sounds like my mum ... haha ... dont know why ... we tok abt xiao zhu and even my job .... I want to b rebellious ... I dont want to listen to him ... sometimes ... I really hope he can stop , look and listen to me and understands me .... but is so unlikely ... I really want to run away from him , want to just walk away and disappear ... Hai ... Talking to him ... I also dont know what i m feeling ... i really wonder dor he really cares as a bro or bcos he is a leader , he needs to , is a duty or responsibility ???

Stupid ANkle

2005-08-10T00:50:00.000-07:00

On mon , suppose to be a happy day cause we have our dinner with weiying before she flies... have japanese dinner and we went for a walk and enjoy our talk ... but I seem to be so stressed with the poster presentation this thurs ... then we walk home ... but so sad ... I sprained my stupid ankle again ... this time is so bad until i cant walk ... they ve to hail taxi frm out merdien ... i ve to cross traffic light n is so painful ... i nearly kill chuan sheng's hand ... I am so sorry chuan Sheng ....i know I hurt him cause I grab his hand until very hard... We took cab home... with yiling... then chuan sheng has to carry me ... I feel very bad cause I am so fat :'(... If i skinny then is easier on chuan sheng... 1st time in my life i got carried by someone somemore a guy ... super paiseh... especially after seeing chuan sheng face cause he is sweating and he is breathing very hard.. I am very touched ... i got scolded by chuan sheng cause I am stubborn as i dun wan him to carry me ... i tink tis incident will be my most embarassing incident in my life .... cant imagine for 21 yrs of life... got carried by a guy ...

Happy !!!!

2005-08-02T02:40:00.000-07:00

Today I am so happy ... Reasons to praise the LORD .... alot ...
1. XiaoDong willing to help me with poster design
2. I found the cheapest printing shop - $24 for A0 size printing with lamination
3. Tack told me she is sad because she have no $$ to pay for her dorm , she needs 4500baht but I cant help her cause I cant send $$ over to thailand ... so I told her I will prayed for her and I prayed immediately then amazingly, Mohn is online then I told him about it ... then he says he will help ... see how amazing GOD provides .. hope that Tack will go to church... and Mohn can her to grow to know GOD more
4. My mum is intending to go bangkok... Can get her to buy things for me and visit yokie and tom and rest for me ...
5. Yokie called me .. so nice right ??? I miss her ... talk to her for about 10mins... hope is not too expensive for her ...
6. My mum says she dont mind inviting yokie and tom to my house and pay for the food and yokie can stay my house and tom at my grandma house with my uncle ... 1 little prob ... tom n grandma cant tok haha
GOD ... I see ur work in all this things .. I am more convinced that I am called to serve thai ... There is where i will go n send me !!!

Wet and Perfume bibles

2005-07-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

Wet bibles
Chinese police found a box of bibles but they are unable to burn them , so they threw them into the water. The next morning, the fishermen plucked these floating volumesout of the sea and put them on roofs to dry. They sold to christians in that area. One of them said : " After our brothers collected the wet bibles, they began to distribute them in china and is dangerous to do so. Some paid their lives... Remember the sacrifices they make , I treasure the bible more."
Perfume bibles
Early 1980s, Peter Xu brought 1000 bibles back to China but they were caught and the bibles are thrown into the cesspool and they were jailed for weekend. When they released, they waited until night falls so that they can climb into the cesspool to retrieve the foul smelling books. They washed and circulate through network.

Look at them ... Such was the hunger and importance of GOD's words... but look at us, we lose bibles, we have >1 bibles at home , somemore different languages, carry bibles everywhere we go ... Have we thank GOD for that ??? !!!!

We will ...

2005-07-28T06:16:00.000-07:00

The Cross, We will take it
The Bread, We will break it
The Pain, We will bear it
The Joy, We will share it

The Gospel, We will live it
The Love, We will give it
The Light, We will radiate it
The Darkness, GOD will conquer it

cravings!!!

2005-07-21T21:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterdae I have craving for thai food... mango and papaya salad and I am so happy ... I had mixed of the both at Golden mile complex ... so nice..so aaroi but so expensive ..mai pan rai cause I enjoy it at the end ... I miss thailand ... feel the urge to stay there to serve....reali hope that they can be blessed to noe GOD... Cause they are so nice... but they need GOD... and so many had sank into their sinful ways .... some tried to seek the truth but in vain... so many pple trying so hard to gain merit so they can b happy ... so many idols ... I realli hope one dae they can be truly the land of freedom and land of smiles cause true freedom and joy come from GOD... I miss the thais there too... not onli my friends but everione n everithing ...

Thai...

2005-07-18T13:50:00.000-07:00

Almost a month never write blog already... Still missing thailand... just heard my frenz talk abt his thai frenz and hw rich his frenz is then I wonder is he boasting or he is just envy ... cause he is the cousin of James Lai but dont looks like him ... Haha... but his family also freaking rich... Sometimes wonder how much worries can riches bring like being kidnapped , robbed etc... I just like a very simple life .... as in things that dont need me to worry about .... That y I like swing cause of the carefree feelings that it brings...I think most of my frenz r back to Spore except me ... my mind , soul still in thailand... seem to b very sensitive to the word Thailand... Yesterdae I just presented my mission trip ... even though is so saddening cause carine miss my presentation ...cause lu zheng dont want to let me present 1st due to time constraint... I really wonder is presenting or sharing church mission is more important and worth the time but not mission trips outside church ...cause they say got time then I present... Just cant I have that 15mins..??? Suddenly all the bad feelings came n I cried but God is gracious and he comforted me .... alot of things happen within the week like on sun ... my frenz ran off her service n I realli learn alot when handling her especially in patience and love... I just felt being make use by everyone... being dragged back into tt cycle of being nice and being make used of .... Had a talk with carine... n feel that our r/s grown higher each time we sit dwn and tok ... ...ขอบคุณพระเจ้า and I start to learn hw to write n read thai and I loving it... feel so gd understanding wat pple write esp wat my thai frenz write... How I wish 1 dae I can read thai bible, speak thai like a thai , write thai script to Tom and the rest ...ฉันคิดถึงทุกคน ... อยากไปประเทศไทย ... see ... I am addicted to thai script and thai language...

Miss Thailand

2005-06-25T17:33:00.000-07:00

I want to go Thailand ... I just check the airfares ... very tempted to fly back to Thailand .... I miss my friends.... like Tom , yokie.... I dont know whether I can go especially if I go alone... Lord I really want to go ...I miss the food ...

Back ...

2005-06-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

I came back from Thailand....for about 5 days... still not used to life in Singapore yet cause in Thailand even working seems more relaxed then relaxing in Singapore... Khop Khun Pra Chao... I really thanks GOD that his love , guidance lead me through the 19 days even though I am injured with a sprained ankle, down with fever and diarrhea and asthma attack ... I survived !!! I love GOD ... He love me so much to show how amazing he is ... The 1st day I went to MSU after prayer walk, when everyone go for lunch , I saw a group of girls with 1 boy eating lunch and suddenly , a voice asks me go over and make friends.. I hesitate cause they may not understand my language or may even ignore me ... but I think I forget that in GOD nothing is impossible .... I went over and make friends and shared gospel with them, I am so amazed and I give GOD praise, 3 people receive christ though the guy was quite confused according to P' Kan, I prayed earnestly that he will learn more about GOD and willing to follow GOD for the whole of their lives... And GOD asked my prayers ... The guy( tian meng) came for follow up everidae and always stays at our crusade corner , very active in our programs .. even though he is always have classes and busy for instance , he rush down for our mass E even though when he came it ended but he walked long way just to come and he sacrifice his chance of going home to go for our follow up camp even though he has classes on fri... Seeing him growing in LORD and praising HIM and praying , reading bible... I feel blessed from the fact the GOD has worked in his heart...
I realli thank GOD that HE leads our team in terms of safety like healing us of our diarrhea , roger broken head , guides us in the programmes we have like most of the times, we only know what the programmes for the next day late in the night ....
And I want to thank GOD for putting Tom into my life as a big brother and alot of close friends like yokie , zhixin, carine ( she is someone so close to me cause she always there for me), matthea... I realise blessing someone with the blessings GOD given is a blessing itself like giving support to Tom make me realise I am so blessed with the support my friends give me ... And GOD put a calling in me to go forth n make disciples in Thailand... I am so happy
Through this trip alot of people like each other or like someone in Thailand ... feel so funnie... and so confusing..... I am just very worry about Tom as he goes Korea ... I realli pray that GOD will guard him and lead him to be closer to GOD and ensure his safety there...

We are the Reason

2005-06-01T13:21:00.000-07:00

Tommorrow I will be flying to Maharaskum... for a mission...to multiply christ centred disciples in love and prayer...because we are the reason that GOD gave up his life, we are the reason that he suffered and died, to the world that was lost, he gave all he could to show us the reason to live... This is a blessing and joy that GOD has given me and rest of my team mates ... I never say that being a christian is easy or has a smooth sailing life cause we are different ... we may have gone through more stuffs than other non-christians cause we are living testimony of Christ and we are tempted by Satan every seconds of our lives... But through all these trials and suffering , GOD never left us walking alone but carry us when we are at the lowest point in our life...though I can say at times, you will wonder where is GOD , why things happen the way it happen... etc... Everything happen for a reason even sufferings .. is to build us up and to be stronger in faith , develop as a christlike disciples and child of GOD... Whenever we pray to GOD that we are willing to change .. change to be better or christlike ... we must be prepare change means learning maybe through hard way... cause change that comes from hard lesson work better ( I believes so) cause the impact is there... lesson that are learnt through hard way is always more long lasting and experience wit GOD is one of the best way to spread gospel cause it is with personal touch... The trainings and rehearsals and meetings for the trip really taught me many things through the journey though it is hard , maybe even harder when I am there... But I really loved by GOD and my team mates and friends through this time when Satan is trying to bring me down and creating troubles for me... but GOD is so good cause HE leads me through even though I may not realise it cause I still feel sad , worry , and fearful... But looking and listening to encouragements from my team mates and friends , and most importantly GOD I am amoured with love and care from HIM and lots of blessings ... even when my parents are fighting or scolding, having some conflicts with my team having some relationship problems... everything I believe that happens happen for a reason ... a reason for me to grow to be christlike and matures as a christian...
During this week , I am doing a chilli fast for all the meals and solid fast for lunch and breakfast ... I really find it amazing ...even as I fast , I felt the strength from GOD that I must continue to pray and love people in thailand and as I pray , I hope to ask GOD where he is leading me to.... as I thought of going thailand/nepal/africa or any countries that GOD leads me to ..to be a tentmaker ... that next year whether I should be doing mission works overseas for a year before I make my decision to work/study/ or continue my missionworks in his desired place... though I know I really wanted to be a pediatrician ... but I believe no matter what I do is GOD's best plan for me as there is a purpose for me ... ... I hope within this year with all the busy schedule, competitions, presentations , projects ... I will not forget what I promise GOD that I will pray for my mission works as a tentmaker to see where GOD leads me to.... 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 where love is all there is because GOS is love and He 1st loves us so we may experience his love and spread his love so people can enjoy and experience the love we have from GOD ....
I really have a lot of things to thank GOD for ... too many that I can only say I thanks GOD for everything I have and I do not have, everything I learnt and not learnt... everythings basically everything.... 1 thing I must really thanks for is giving me a chance to know HIM and be child of HIM where I can pray and give thanks...
Alot of things went through my mind as I type ... my life, my trip, my loved ones etc... and GOD ...as I grew up , I learn to see love as sacrifical cause GOD has sacrifical love for us... I wanted more and more to settle down , to form a family... and earnestly praying for it ... maybe alot of my frenz are attached and married... but I know that GOD has HIS time.... I told GOD that I even have names for my future children... Soloman __ Wei jun , Saul __ Wei chong, Ruth __ wei ting ... Maybe all these are just my fanstasy, but I believe in GOD that whether I be single or married , I never alone cause GOD is there.... with me ... all the time... On tues I saw a young couple where the guy is younger than the gal ... and at that I thought of XiangPing and Meng Yeow and makes me wonder does age really matters in a relationship... or in love ... ??? I used to think that age matters alot cause of communication barriers but as I see people around me , they also have communication barriers regardless of age ... Loving family and a christ centred family is something I look forward to in the family ... I want my children to know GOD... as time goes pass , I became more confirmed that my life partner MUST be a CHRISTIAN and someone who loves GOD more than anything else... I saw what happens to someone and someone else ... and hope that I really can help... but I think I should pray ....
I saw LJ last sat at the santuary ... then at that time I ask myself .. what is going to happen between the 2 of us .... possibly nothing at all .... or is my heart filled another person ... ??? a question that makes me ponder...
I thanks GOD ... for the time of reflection and typing all these

My little niche in this ocean of opinions

2005-03-28T10:29:00.000-08:00

My little niche in this ocean of opinions

Loss

2005-02-25T10:09:00.000-08:00

I am loss ... God show me the directions ... not only in my future .... but my heart ... I realize I fall for him but I shldnt and he will never knows.... cos I never sae it out .... help !!!

Long time le

2005-02-23T09:07:00.000-08:00

Long long time since i write my blog ....veri bz n stress over alot of things ... pray tt i ve the strength and learn .... as for tmr i ve an interview for overseas work attachment n sat i will meet up wit my mission team pple for the 1st time so excited ... tok to mabel jus nw ...veri encouraging .... veri blessed to learn sth frm her ... as for the person i like ... i tot tt i can forget him by nt calling or toking to him ... no i cant ..... i still tok n call him ... he is a non christian ... how ?????? GOD Is my strength ... n fri will tok to mabel n partners abt shareholders ... hope to join them ... GOD teach me wat to do !!!

Scare !!

2005-01-10T09:55:00.000-08:00

I ve not update my blog so long le ........ Last sat saw tt scary guy but my dear weide wasnt ard ... so scare n colin is ard .... he arh .... !!! dun wan to let me stay in the kitchen n hide cos he tink i shld help to host ... n help wanwei n the rest ...But I dun wan !! cos it mean serving that stupid person but wit jason ard i can dun need to serve his table ...Haha ... And my rest of the customers very nice de cos they keep me to their tables then i avoid him even when he try to tok ...
Shiyi , tian^2 , jia ren came n jason waived off the table charge .... he is so damm nice lor ... n tian^2 cant gt hm ve to take cab ... That sat is the 1st sat w/o weide , josh , alex ard ...so nt used to it ... Missed them ... esp seeing josh smoking outside the table ... n the feeling of security that no matter wat happen gt josh weide they all there to help me ... cos now i ve to b veri independent n help other cos i m senior le .... I missed Josh ... n weide ...

Last day of 2004

2005-01-05T01:18:00.000-08:00

So exciting man .... I got bitten by a dog 1st time in my life ...by my close frenz waiwai 's dog , little .... hai dun noe y the dog dun like me .... Oso 1st time saw her bf ...chuan wen ...so embarrassing 1st time make frenz ....ve to see me bitten ....somemore scared of rabies lor ... Then make waiwai wear skirts ...that cool ...she looks so pretty
Called LJ n he sae i shld go to A&E ... wonder is he care for me or jus that he thinks if i dun go i harm other pple.... Hai ... Andrew and Grace were so wori... HAHA...

2004-12-27T05:17:00.000-08:00

Todae ... went over to collect my mp3 player but make me so angry .... haha... but enjoy shopping for little joel seah .... alot of clothes look so nice on him .... haha .... I share the gift wit yucong ... n went there saw little joel ...so cute !!!

The ans

2004-12-26T07:42:00.000-08:00

After so long struggling wit my feelings ... I finally I noe who is the one tt I reali like even I noe we r impossible ... is LJ ...

+mas Eve ...

2004-12-26T07:04:00.000-08:00

+mas eve ... tt dae tot tt i ll stay @ hm n study ... but LJ msg me n the rest to invite us to Ochard for sight seeing and photo taking ... It was veri excited in the sense tt I gt to see LJ after so long ... But he arh ... bluff me n er jie n xiaodong ... suppose to meet @ borders @ 9-9.30 He ... came late n went to Heeren instead ... make us walk all the way tt to heeren ... then I kana sprayed ... damm sad lor .... there we make Lj to treat us drinks ... Haha !!! He jus came dwn frm his workplace ... so tiring for him .... then we meet the rest of pple .... like xiao yao they all ... then we walk ... walk .... but mus go thru all the roads where no pple walk n no deco de cos @ the main rd alot of pple keep spraying foam on pple ... We keep avoiding tis pple ... then we ve photo taking ... then I sat o n the roadside cos i m tired n hungry ... but they finally remember me ask me take photos ... in front of Mount Elizabeth ??? on +mas eve ... then we go all the way to tangs where alot of pple left us cos it is getting late le ... like xiaoyao , andrew , zeli went back 1st ... . .... then @ far east plaza ... LJ buy us dinks .... somehw so touched tt we never miss the tuan qi idea ... n we go goodwoodhotel tt take photo .... then hm sweet hm ... the west side pple ve a free ride cos LJ drives .... but we ve to walk back to Heeren ...Hm I cum ... i blur until left n rite cant differeniate .... hai ... make him U-turn @ inapproporiate place where he cant U turn ... gt camera somemore .... veri scare he gt into trouble cos it will affect him as a doc in the future ....

Last dae @ metta

2004-12-22T09:53:00.000-08:00

Todae ...finally end our stay in metta ... n last chance to c zhiyu n sally n the rest ... feel sad to leave them esp zhiyu .... i noe i m favouritism but I jus feel moved n touched by zhiyu actions ... tbhough he is quiet but he is knowledgable .... n sally oso veri cute ... chin buay ... so happy to c her liten up nt so moody animore .. Bought them sweets ... n 2 bookmarks for zhiyu n sally .... they reali deserve them !!! Eat log cake todae ... feel appreciated wit the cert n the gift ... the way zhiyu speak to me is my greatest reward ... Zhiyu ..u rockz !!!

Performance !!!!

2004-12-22T09:41:00.000-08:00

After 4 performances ... for the mime n dance ... I thank GOD for all the daes esp in orchard where the performances r in the open so if rain , performance ve to be canceled ... BUT nuthing happens ... No rain ... hooray !!! GOD is almighty even when cd player dun work ... He makes it work !!! The fun n excitement in painting pple face n tying pple hair is so much huge ... Reali fun ... Gt to noe my bro n sis more .. like their skin type , hair .... today is the last performance ... we ve done veri well wit the help of GOD guidance n blessings wit pple like weilin , meng yew , florence , lindy etc ... SO touched to c all of them .... oso in the process ... noe pple tt i seldom ve time to keep in touch like xueling , yucong ....

Another week pass ..

2004-12-22T09:24:00.000-08:00

Is the last week @ the metta ... love them so much ... miss them ... we finally finish the photo frames , lamp shades , candle lite holders ... .hooray !!!! Saw zhiyu n the rest then realise how well they behave compare to the metta home pple ... metta home pple dun even noe how to differentiate what is clean and not clean ... unlike zhiyu they all , they nt onli noe cleanliness n noe what is right n wrong veri well behaved n smart ... So happy to b wit them ... ....

2004-12-13T08:53:00.000-08:00

Todae ... went back sch in the morning to discuss wit Daniel abt my PP ... damm stress ... stress until yesterdae dream of the KK doctors .... ( damm lame lor ) ...
Then rush dwn to Metta ... they r learning hw to do folding of paper ... they fold a mouth and a boat ... Daniel name his mouth ong ... he is crazy sia ... veri attached to the paper pet .... nearly flew to a drain ... HAha I saved it ... he damm anxious .... Looking @ him & his ong is damm funnie ... Learning dancing time le .... most of them r catching up .... Raymond is getyting frm bad to worse ... been toking to the gers ... so I pray that we can learn to handle him .. n teach him .... as for adrian ...he is getting bolder tot tt he can get away wit things tt he did wrong by saying sorrie ... been toking to edmund ... learn tt he reali into buddhism ... n I pray tt he will see the truth n light in the true GOD ... n we share quite a no of things ... Singing time ... everione in cls A love to sing man ..... Sally pulls me up to sing wit her n i pull meimei along ... cos i dunnoe the song ...so pai seh ..
Get pay le ...... gt $$$ so happy ... n i ve a chat wit yi jie abt BRG thingy ... seeing his prob ... make me feel tt BGR is a troublesome thing ... But I ve faith that wit GOD guidance he will be able to pull thru ... Gt a chance to tok to SI Te after so long n heard he sick ... so sad .... Pray tt he recover fast and his parents nt ard to take care of him .... He seem to lose his faith in love after the breakup ....so pray tt he will stand up again .... Did ve a chat wit hong ming too ... then realise working wit pple nee tolerance ... n patience ... esp with pple u nt happy ...
I will treasure the time I ve in metta ... cos is so fulfiling n happy ... .GOD teach me hw to bless the pple there wit ur Love , care n concern .... n lead them back to U ...

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???

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